Old Hollywood Calls

Reasons I Hate the Valley: Tokyo Delve's

2011-04-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

My time on the other side of the hill is few and far between, and with good reason. That reason? I fucking hate the Valley. Its common feeling, this hatred of the happenings on the other side of the hill, and yet, we all end up over there. In the same way unattractive people don’t understand why they can empty a club, people in the valley don’t seem to understand why we detest being in that area. It really is a shame that it’s classified as “L.A.” If it weren’t, it would be plenty easy enough to avoid it. That way, when you ask where someone is located it’s another city entirely. It might as well be another planet.

There are a multitude reasons to hate the valley, enough in fact, that I could start another blog on it. We’ll start with one.

Tokyo Delve’s.

My reason for trekking to the valley this weekend, was a dinner with a couple friends I hadn’t seen since college. Ryan, it seems, had an “amazing time” at a sushi bar on Lankershim by the name of “Tokyo Delve’s.” Since Pincus lives right down the street (Why, Pincus? Why?) I agreed to attend. “It’s like a frat party in a sushi bar” Ryan warned me. And with that, I nervously drove through Hollywood and Highland traffic to get to the other side. It would be really great if the tourist capitol of Hollywood was NOT directly in front of my closest entrance to the freeway. Nine years later* I made it to Tokyo Delve’s with, at least, the expectation to get smashed with some friends in a riotous atmosphere.

Tokyo Delve’s was exactly like a frat party, and by frat party, I mean my cousin Mollie’s Bat Mitzvah. Decorated in star cut outs, glitter, flashing lights, bright blue paint, and posters of the 90s most famous actors, Tokyo Delve’s appeared more like an adult Chuck E Cheese than a sushi bar.

Somewhere between the yelling waiters, The YMCA and Cha Cha Slide, I found myself gripping the sides of my chair, excepting at any moment the waiters to hoist me in the air to Hava Nigila.

With the exception of Gaga’s Alejandro, DJ Joe, whose CDs they continually promoted, stuck to top 40 hits. From 2002.

We ordered our food, exposing Pincus to sushi for the first time, and our alcohol. Ryan got his sake bombs, and I settled for a strawberry sake mixed drink (which was literally two sips of beverage). No amount of alcohol would have fixed the atmosphere. Or the food. Prepared by Mexico’s most qualified sushi chefs, the sushi was less than admirable for the price. Perhaps we were paying for the atmosphere. Poor Pincus. I swear sushi is better than this mess that we consumed!

The entire night was narrated by the bartender, Alejandro, whose name was always accompanied by the hit song. He was an, I can only assume, out of work actor or singer masquerading as a Bar Mitzvah DJ in a sushi bar. The rest of the wait staff was no better. All of them, we can only assume, were the hottest things in their home town, who moved to LA and found no other option to dance like a maniac at Tokyo Delve’s. They either have to have had more sake bombs than Ryan to come to work, or they cry themselves to sleep every night. I can hardly imagine that this is what any of them came to LA to do.

The icing on these poor waiters cake? The lip-syncing show at the end of our dinner. Donning wigs, we were subject to a Milli Vanilli/ Right Said Fred/ Vanilla Ice montage of poorly danced and lip-synced “performances.”

We were ushered out precisely an hour and half later, so the next batch of poor unsuspecting customers could celebrate turning 13 in the valley.

Gimmick over food quality, found in the valley. Want to eat well, stay on the right side of the hill. Want to feel embarrassed for everyone around you? Try eating dinner in the valley.

Never again. I hate the valley.**

*Times are approximate

**This in no way reflects on Ryan and Pincus. I had fun with you guys!

The Longwinded (Lincoln) Loser (Lawyer)

2011-03-25T09:41:00.000-07:00

In under 30 words: An unintelligent, painfully long movie featuring nauseating camera movements and bad Ryan Phillippe acting (or as Adam Sass brilliantly put it, simply Ryan Phillippe acting).

Warning: I don't know how to successfully bash this movie, AND leave out key facts. There will be SPOILERS.

Denny uses Groupon and came across a deal! Only 6 dollars for tickets to Lincoln Lawyer? Boy Howdy! So we ante up our six bucks a pop and roll into an empty evening showing of the latest Matthew McConaughey legal thriller. While its an unusual departure from the smug romantic comedy he's used to, McConaughey is no stranger to the thriller. It would be nice, I assumed, to see him return.

After sitting through-what seemed like- hours of trailers and commercials (not ONE for something I'd see, I might add) the movie finally started. To it's credit, it had some of the coolest opening credits I'd seen in a while. Shots of LA, Matthew, and his Lincoln town car flew in and out in various squares and rectangles, rocking out to a killer soundtrack. If only I could have watched the credits on loop for two hours...

But no, unfortunately for Denny and I, the movie had to start eventually....

The Lincoln Lawyer tells the story of Mick, a criminal defendant who works from the back of his Lincoln town car. With his faithful driver, Earl, he takes to the streets. When a gang of bikers approaches her car, we get to see how bad ass McConaughey can be. Despite looking uncomfortable in a suit, Matthew is at his best when he is smarmy and confident. He gets plenty of opportunities to be charming, and those are his best. He's not terrible with the more emotional stuff, although he has trouble accessing the emotion. Thankfully, there are contacts to make him look like he's crying and a make-up artist to put bags under his eyes.

McConaughey has a new client. Someone that requested him specifically, Louis (Ryan Phillippe). He's a young playboy accused of beating and threatening to rape and kill a prostitute. He says he didn't do it and that she is setting him up. Mick and his investigator (William H. Macy, searching for another paycheck in "Shameless" downtime) set out to find the truth.

Ryan Phillippe, in addition to being a horrible, lip quivering actor, is not as innocent as he proclaims to be. There is a reason he picked Mick as his attorney, you see. Mick defended a client, for a very similar crime and lost. Lo and behold, its because Phillippe's Louis is the one that committed the crime! As Mick begins to put together the pieces, he realizes that due to attorney client privilege and all that, that there is nothing he can do. Louis torments Mick, in what could be the most interesting plot line of the movie. How can Mick defend this guilty man, AND get him convicted to save his previous client from jail time?

And this is the opportunity for the movie to be really intelligent. But it isn't. Lincoln Lawyer never reaches levels of intelligence that a legal thriller of this caliber should have. There are no a ha! moments, aside from Matthew FOLDING A PHOTOGRAPH IN HALF. Yes, ladies and gentleman, THAT is Matthew's shining moment of intelligence. I suppose, if the character was smart, no one would buy Matthew playing him. So they make other characters figure things out for Matthew. Despite the terrible acting, Phillippe was the smartest character. WHY AM I ROOTING FOR RYAN PHILLIPPE IN A MOVIE?!

To ensure Matthew plays to his game, Phillippe goes after the ones Matthew loves. William H. Macy, whose character is made sympathetic because his gay partner died of AIDS (thanks red ribbon glued to a photograph. Way to show-not-tell. Director Brad Furman went to film school [ but more on that later]), is the first to feel Phillippe's threat. And then Mick's ex-wife and mother of his child (an underused Marisa Tomei) who also happens to be a prosecutor. How convenient.

I'll save you how it ends, but thankfully, it does (about 30 minutes too late). It drags on and showcases a lot of Ryan Phillippe attempting to act, and lot of "fancy" camera work. The entire thing was shot like a student film with quick cuts and exaggerated camera movements. If you need to raise tensions by spinning a camera in a circle in the middle of the courtroom, there is something wrong with your courtroom scene. Same applies for the entire movie.

About halfway through the movie, when I started zoning off in anger, I imagined some potential sequels: The Prius Preacher, The Toyota Teacher, The Jaguar Janitor, and so on and so forth. All wildly more entertaining in my head than what was playing out on the screen in front of me...

Do yourself a favor, even if Groupon offers you $1 tickets to this, save your two hours. Rarely do I see a movie that makes me feel like I wasted my money. This was one of those times. And it wasn't even MY money. It was Denny's. And it wasn't even full price. It was $6. It was, however, 2 hours of my life that I will never have back.

Trailer Analysis: Beastly vs. Red Riding Hood

2011-02-22T14:00:00.000-08:00

This March we get not one, but TWO classic fairy tale reboots. CBS Films' Beastly and Warner Brothers' Red Riding Hood open a week apart and will do their best to tap into the Twilight fangirl base. I'll tell you this much now, one of them I'm stoked on and the other... well the other you'd have to tie me to a chair and duct tape my eyes open to watch (and I guarantee you the entire time I was sitting there I'd be gnawing away at my arms in an attempt to free myself. The pain of my teeth grinding through my skin would be less than that of watching this attempt at romance). I think you know where this is going...

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Beastly is a modern take on the Beauty and the Beast tale. A pretty, popular, and terribly vain young man is made to look ghastly by a sorceress and only true love (by a brunette) can break the spell.

This is what love looks like, right guys?

The trailer opens with the words "Beautiful people get it better." Then why are you playing this part Alex Pettyfer? If someone loves this movie does that break your spell of only doing shitty movies (I Am Number 4, anyone?)?

Look! It's Will Ferrell in Zoolander!

Beautiful, blond Pettyfer is made to look like an awesome punk rocker by one of the Olsen sisters (I still can't tell them apart, although I always suspected they dabbled in witchcraft [How else did New York Minute get made?].) and so he becomes a recluse to be tutored by a blind Neil Patrick Harris.

But how the fuck can he play darts??!

Don't get me wrong, I love NPH, but apparently blind to him also means deaf given the slow cadence of his dialogue. But it's okay, because NPH can see how awesome Pettyfer is (funny, I didn't get that out of the trailer. Since his personality sucked, too). I contemplated awarding NPH the "What-The-Fuck-Is-He-Doing-In-This-Movie" award, but then I remembered that twin babies are expensive. He's not the only one who can see Pettyfer's inner beauty... It's that bitch from High School Musical! With nothing better to do and the desire for ANOTHER green room, Hudgens is here...trying to be a star... again. Move the bangs aside, sweetie, and embrace your lack of star quality. Just. Stop. You can see how beautiful Pettyfer is, but you can't see how dismal your career is?

It's supposed to be a sweeping Twilight romance, but really its a jumbled modernistic montage of "ugly" Alex Pettyfer looking past Vanessa Hudgen's bangs into her big, vacant eyes. I get no sense of her character what-so-ever. And as I Am Number Four and Twilight taught us, the movie needs to be from the normal girl's point of view, not the supernatural freak. If you haven't guessed it, this is the movie I'm looking forward to THE LEAST. I frankly can't even believe I sat through the trailer three times to write this.

Stay home and watch the good version

My what an exciting trailer you have.... Red Riding Hood.

And my what big eyes you have... OMG guys, she's the wolf.

Less that 15 seconds in and I'm already way more excited about this movie. The vacant glances of Beastly are replaced with a, quite literal, carnivorous love affair. Seyfried's Little Red is big eyed and all grown up. She's fooling around with the woodsman, when her hand in marriage is promised to another. Love triangles did director Catherine Hardwicke well before, (cough, Twilight, cough) and if you're going to try and tap into that fan base, you might as well go back to the source.

They've got more chemistry in this photograph than

Hudgens and Pettyfer have in their entire movie.

While Seyfried is running around with good old fashioned lust (which I know she can play given her stellar performance as the over-sexualized title character in Chloe.) there is another in the village with blood lust! A werewolf, it turns out. And now we're officially in a whole different world than the original little red riding hood. I imagine Grandma will play into this somehow, but the real mystery is not how little red escapes the wolf, but rather- who the wolf is.

Gary Oldman in a dapper purple outfit is hell bent on finding out, and he knows Seyfried knows. It's probably someone she's fucking... but which one?

Red Riding Hood does several things right, where Beastly goes wrong. First, they cast talented actors. Its amazing what Gary Oldman can do for a movie, and I've never seen Amanda Seyfried in something where she was bad. Second, it's got a style. It's beautiful and bright and they stick to that bright but Gothic style through and through. Seyfried is sure to be the only one with red, but the purple, the blue, the yellow all pop just as much. I've always said that Amanda Seyfried has a face for a Tim Burton movie, and this looks like its about as close as she'll get for now. Third, its from HER point of view. This is where Twilight succeeded and I Am Number 4 failed. If you're going to cater to the teen girl, by all means, make your character a teen girl.

A great soundtrack, fast cuts, and a story that I am familiar with (but did not grow up on in a superior animated form) all help to make Red Riding Hood my choice for fangirl storybook romance.

The 8 Types of People You Meet at the Internet Porn Awards

2011-02-08T22:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in life, you are presented with opportunities that you would be a fool to say no to. This... is one of those times. This Monday I was invited to the internet porn awards, one of which, a friend of mine's website was nominated for. He was assembling a team together to wear shirts advertising his website. This would mean, of course, that we would be mingling with porn stars, attending the awards show and taking part in the open bar. I, of course, said yes.

I have never been to an event quite like this- and should you ever find yourself in a similar situation, allow me to draw you a map of the 8 types of people you will meet at the internet porn awards...

First and foremost...

1) The Liquor Sponsor

If this is an awards show that naked internet celebrities will be attending, you better believe it will be sponsored by some form of alcoholic beverage. There is a high probability, as I learned Monday, that this bar will be open for a LIMITED amount of time. That is why it is imperative that this is the first person you meet at the bar. This bartender poured me my rum and coke (my cup of rum and teaspoon of coke) and much like Barbara Hershey's sweet girl, I was GONE. My other promoters found themselves putting their drinks in my hand and running back to the bar to get another drink/ogle the bartender before they started charging for these deliciously deadly cocktails.

2) The Shameless Self Promoter

Meet Tom. The co-creator of MaleMenu.com and the reason that we all attended this shindig. While others are basking in the joy of simply being nominated, Tom is hard at work making sure his hook up site remains on the minds of everyone in that room. How does he do that? By inviting 10 of his most attractive friends (Bias? Yes.) to work the room in his company's shirts and hand out business cards. Its a win-win situation for everyone involved, really.

3) The Porn Star

You're at an awards show for internet porn. You better believe some porn stars will cross your path! But Marcus, you ask, how on earth will I know who the porn stars are (and then Marcus will scoff at you because he knows you know...)? Simple enough, they're the half naked ones that everyone is taking pictures of/with. They're the ones who literally cannot read. Nothing is more entertaining than watching a porn star try and read the contents of their awards envelope.

4) The Nobody in a Shiny Dress

Surrounded by porn stars, she needs to do something to stand out, and that's why this nobody dons a sparkly dress. Anything to make you look away from the naked and at her. Her heels rival a prostitutes and her make-up rivals the drag queens. She thinks she looks good though, even though you need sunglasses to look at her.

5) The Drag Queen

Speaking of drag queen, say hello to the 5th person you'll meet at the internet porn awards. Prepare yourself. Its not pretty. One stopped to talk to us for a good five minutes, and given the fact that her heels were 6 inches off the ground, the end result was me having a conversation... with her armpit. From the likes of Chi Chi La Rue to the nobody boy trying to stand out amidst porn stars, drag queens found themselves littering the event with glitter and eyelashes.

6) The Man in a Suit

The man in the suit, much like the shameless self promoter, is there to work (this is an industry, after all) and while the promoter seeks people out, the man in the suit is sought out. He is the man behind the scenes. The man with the money. The man with the face (or body, or... endowment) for radio. He's successful though, and everyone around him knows it, so you will too.

7) The One Who Bought His Way In

You might have found yourself with an invitation to these awards, but this man certainly did. For wherever the beautiful people flock, there are bound to be several creepers there to stare. So whether you're the porn star or not, you're NOT off limits from the advances of the man who bought his way in. He's got just enough money, and is missing just enough dignity to throw it all on the table to get in and mingle with the folks he watches naked from home. And if you're like me, he'll compliment your glasses and offer to buy you a drink... which is why its a good thing you know that the bar is already free. Get out while you still can.

8) Frenchie Davis

That's right. The closing act was none other than Frenchie Davis, the Season 2 American Idol Alum who was forced to quit the competition after her past in porn was revealed. It should come to no surprise then, that she is actively working the porn circuit, promoting herself as a singer- not an "actress." She, of course, closed with a little number from Dreamgirls. Much to my surprise, it was not "And I am Telling You..." but instead, "I am Changing..." Poor thing sweat so much during her performance that I'm sure she left the stage to do just as she promised, change. However, while you may be changing, Frenchie, the people you surround yourself with certainly are not...

Marcus Picks the Oscars - Part II

2011-02-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

Part two is underway of my Oscar picks and predix. Full disclosure: I only watched 25 minutes of the The Fighter. I honestly have no desire to ever see the rest/end of that movie. But regardless, here we go:

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Who Will Win: Christian Bale. Well Bale has done it again. He's completely altered his physical appearance for a role as a washed up boxer, turned druggie training his brother who happens to be Mark Wahlberg. He apparently isn't even himself anymore, but frankly I thought he was borderline caricature in the beginning of the film. Oh yeah- and there's this: CLICK ME. Forgot about that, didn't you Hollywood? Call me old fashioned but part of being a great actor is not treating your crew like shit....

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Who Should Win: Geoffrey Rush. Because he's never gone into a fit of rage that wasn't scripted AND because after The King's Speech all I wanted was for him to be my best friend. I'm fairly certain I brought up faking a speech impediment to Denny after we saw this, simply to go visit Rush. In all seriousness though, he was the perfect foil to Firth and I found myself rooting for Firth not simply because he was great, but also because a success for Firth's Bertie was a success for Rush's Lionel.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Who Will Win: Hailee Steinfeld. Don't ask me why. I hated the film, but the Academy didn't. There is going to be an upset in one of the major acting categories (as Leo is the front runner) and this will be the category it happens in. What is usually my favorite category is so blah this year. True Grit was a box office success and they'll want to find a place to reward it. This is it. Plus Steinfeld is gaining a ton of momentum and has more screen time than any of the other actresses. The Academy is about to turn its precedent of "reward the child actor with the nomination itself" on its side and give Steinfeld the trophy- but that doesn't mean they'll put her in the lead category.

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Who Should Win: Helena Bonham Carter. She completely transformed herself out of the eccentric, mismatched-shoe-wearing, neo-witch she has become. On top of that, she gave a subtly moving performance that was the epitome of a great supporting actress. Her turn, however, is being overshadowed by phenomenal performances by Firth and Rush, and a slew of mediocre performances crowding the supporting actress race. I am also still pissed that my Black Swan supporting ladies didn't work their way in here.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

What Will Win: Inception. The Academy owes Nolan big time. They screwed him over with The Dark Knight and completely blanked on even nominating him for director for the visually explosive mind fuck that was Inception. The best director nods are the scene of the crime... They'll make it up to him here.

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What Should Win: The Kids Are All Right. I laughed. I cried. And I was just reading the script. The script has so much heart, that it's no wonder the movie felt love. The characters are just as defined on the page as they are on the screen and this is the type of genre that the original screenplay usually loves. It's right up there with Little Miss Sunshine in the "quirky family dramedy" genre.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

What Will and Should Win: The Social Network. Do I even need to go further on this one? If they could have nominated Sorkin five times they would have. His dialogue is brilliant. It's the perfect combination of material and writer and will undoubtedly be recognized.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

What Will Win: Toy Story 3. Pixar is incredible, I will not deny that. This movie did everything that was promised to me. The characters were just as lovable and the story line just as heart wrenching and loving. But the fact that I am using the phrase "just as" should clue you in to something - it is simply a play into a fan base that is already there. Yes, its great. But is it original?

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What Should Win: How To Train Your Dragon. This movie utilized animation in a way that animation was intended to be used. The flying sequences were so much fun, and save for Wall-E, I have never associated so strongly with an animated character. Hiccup was the perfect everyman. His connection with Toothless and his desire to please his father were amazing emotional through-lines to a thoroughly entertaining and beautiful movie.

Marcus Picks the Oscars - Part I

2011-02-03T11:44:00.001-08:00

That time is rapidly approaching once again- The Academy Awards. I, like all of you, have thoughts on what will and what should go down. I (also like most of you) also happen to blog which subjects you to my thoughts on the matter. It isn't going to be pretty-

BEST PICTURE

What Will Win: The Social Network. Don't give in to the hype about The King Speech's resurgence. The Academy is shying away from the traditional in an effort to prove they're as hip as you. It will go to The Social Network, especially since nothing negative has come out of the Social Network's reign.

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What Should Win: Black Swan. What other movie made you feel the things that movie made you feel? It was entertaining AND it was an emotional experience. Which is exactly what a movie should be. It was cathartic. It was chaotic. It was beautiful. It has incredible performances, supporting actresses (yes, that's a dig at the Social Network), an amazing score and cinematography, and costumes to die for (Halloween is already being planned). Above all, it captivated me. It moved me and I am dying to watch it again- unlike any of the other Best Picture Nominees (Kids Are All Right excluded- more on that later). The Best Picture award is collected by the producer, making it the "Best Produced Movie" award. The pieces all came together on this movie like on no other.

BEST DIRECTOR

Who Will Win: David Fincher. Riding the success of his movie, Fincher will walk away with the gold. He delivered a tense, captivating movie about computers. He did not, however, deliver any performances that will walk away with a prize. I think the Academy also feels like they owe him (for Benjamin Button, although god knows why. I feel like Fincher owes ME for that movie).

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Who Should Win: Darren Aronofsky. Black Swan was his vision executed to perfection. I will be the first to admit that the script to Black Swan is not very good. (But what? Didn't I just say it should win Best Picture? Yes. Yes I did. It's my blog. Let me be.) Aronofsky mines gold out of it. Without him, this movie would be nothing. His directorial efforts stretched beyond camera angle and performance. He put faith in his actors, which helped pull out the performances he got. From the visuals to the score, everything was so fittingly "Aronofsky"that this movie couldn't be anything other than a directorial masterpiece. I mean shit... look at how he made you FEEL.

BEST ACTOR

Who Will and Should Win: Colin Firth. Way to go Firth. You made me feel for someone who sounds like a bumbling idiot. The frustration was all too real (and this was that you controlled the stutter!) To have such a mastery over your own voice to do that is enough to take the prize, but why would Firth stop there? His relationships with Rush and Carter are passionate and understandable. He stepped into Bertie and never looked back. Plus he's "owed" for A Single Man.

BEST ACTRESS

Who Will Win: Natalie Portman. Before I go on- this is THE best category this year. Now back to Portman- she did an amazing job and I will be completely happy when she takes the stage of the Kodak. She became a ballerina and her control of her emotions (both while dancing and while speaking) is incredible. She may never top this performance. It wasn't until she took on the black swan that I realize dhow phenomenally she acted the white swan. Amazing.

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Who Should Win: Michelle Williams. What? You expected me to say Annette Bening? Hell, I expected me to say Bening - but at the end of the day we need to be honest and she was not the best actress this year. She was good, but not great. And as much as I love her and that movie, she's going to have to wait because Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine DESTROYED me. Two words for you - SPOILER: Abortion (1). Scene (2). She was hardly acting; she was being.

Areas I Love: Runyon Canyon

2011-01-31T11:02:00.000-08:00

Finally, another installment of "Areas I Love." Here's parts I and II for reference.

While this blog sub-genre is usually reserved for streets or small parts of LA, today I'm using it to declare my love for a certain Runyon Canyon.

Tucked up in the Hollywood Hills at the top of Fuller Street, Runyon Canyon is one of those not-so-secret Hollywood Secrets. Locals know about it, but its never a place a tourist would find, even though it's a hop, skip, jump away from Hollywood and Highland.

While parking can be dicey (just give it up and park a ways away. You're going to hike... you don't need the closest parking spot...), its absolutely worth it.

There's a little stand where you can grab water and a banana. Its an honor system "leave money" situation. Don't make them take it away by grabbing a water and running. Don't be that douche.

And then you're inside. Weekend mornings, grab some friends (see below) and head in.

There's an easy way up (read: sloped) and a more difficult (read: steps) way to the top, but no matter how hard you climb, the view from the top is phenomenal (assuming its not a super smoggy day). The hike takes around an hour and is a great little work out.

Look at this! It amazes me that amidst the city is this beautiful pocket of nature. Its easy to disappear away from the city for a while- that is, until you get to the top and catch a view of it all.

But lets not kid ourselves. There is a reason I love Runyon Canyon above all others: PUPPIES!

See that picture? That is Runyon on a good day. There are puppies EVERYWHERE. Its easy for me to get to the top of the hike because I just run from puppy to puppy. They're off their leashes and SO DAMN CUTE. With their tongues dangling out of their mouths, they get just as tuckered as their human counterparts and pass out on top of the hill.

TANGENT: One time I was hiking and stopped to tie my shoe. Out of nowhere a golden retriever leaps on my back and begins to lick my face. Her owner, mortified, apologized profusely to which I responded: Why would you apologize for that? It just made my day.

And you know what? It did.

Because how do you NOT try the garlic ice cream?

2011-01-26T16:17:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing I can say about my group of friends it is this: we eat DAMN well. We've taken to trying new restaurants and this Sunday was no exception. Ladies and gentlemen, The Stinking Rose!

Our reason for going was twofold.

1) We needed to celebrate Denny's promotion. Blog Shout Out: Congrats Denny!

2) We needed to try this restaurant.

The Stinking Rose is a restaurant dedicated to garlic. I love garlic, so naturally this is a match made in heaven. We had no idea if we'd need reservations and so Mikey called and we got their voicemail which sounded like it was narrated by this guy:

I'm already in love with it (and we didn't need reservations). So Denny, Mikey, Amy, Jackie, Caroline, Daniel and I climb around a table and stare at the menu.

Garlic Wine.

40 Glove of Garlic Chicken.

Surf and Turf (All garlic enhanced, of course).

Garlic Encrusted Baby Back Ribs.

Garlic Rolls.

Garlic Ice Cream.

Holy friggin' crap. This is awesome. Our poor waitress, not only was her name Agnes, but she told us about how she cannot get the smell of garlic out of her hair. Now, I love garlic as much as the next guy, but its not exactly a scent you want for yourself. The price you pay to work with delicious food, I suppose.

We pussed out when it came to the garlic wine, so we made sure we hit up the garlic ice cream. Do NOT- I repeat, DO NOT- get it. The consensus was WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EATING?!

The surf and turf was delicious (and it was amusing watching Denny and Amy trying to get the crab out of the shell).

And the decor is lots of fun (just not as fun as the garlic hat they make the poor host wear). Will I be back? Sure. It's an event place though- not so much a place you could just.... go.

We all went home and brushed our teeth and took showers. It was coming out of my pores, I swear it.

Definitely hit the place up if you have a taste for garlic (and lets be honest, who doesn't?) and a fun group to smell really bad with.

IT'S GOT LAVENDER IN IT aka My Triumphant Return to Blogging

2011-01-21T19:54:00.001-08:00

I am aware that it has been a good many months since I've last set pen to paper, or rather, finger to keyboard. It isn't so much a matter of not having anything to say, as it is not having the energy to say it. That all changed when I was re-energized by a little cocktail at The Library Bar in the Roosevelt Hotel.

IT'S GOT LAVENDER IN IT!

The Kentucky Bubble Bath - but alas, I'm getting ahead of myself- so let us go back...

Sass and I are obsessed with this bar. Where other bars have a counter top, the Library Bar has a mother fuckin' garden.

Here's one of the bartenders. With his garden. Notice all the fresh fruits, herbs and vegetables? Well they get mixed into drinks. That's right... getting a drink with orange juice? Hold please while he MUDDLES THIS FRESH ORANGE.

This being said - you can't just get a screwdriver. No regular drinks allowed. Here its about flavor. Looking for something savory? sweet? sour? that doesn't start with an "s"?

I came looking for kiwi. I walked in and there was a row of them on the counter/garden and I was like "whoa, hold up. What are you making right now with kiwi?"

Turns out it was a Bourbon/Sage/Kiwi cocktail that had my head a-spinnin'. I don't even drink bourbon and I was in heaven. Not to be outdone by my 3+ ingredient cocktail, Sass orders the Library Bar version of a Bloody Mary. The one that has 17+ ingredients (including hand picked, ripe vine tomatoes squished in the bottom. Squished with love. And care. And vodka).

I'm on a high from this bourbon drink and I want to know what else he can do with this smooth as silk Bulleit Bourbon. Well, he asks - Do you like lavender? I saw yes before I even think what this entails... I mean... I like the smell of lavender. Its a pretty color and the lavender ice cream I had once at Mashti Malone's wasn't bad but....

And by the time my brain got to that point this beauty was sitting in front of me. Its a Kentucky Bubble Bath. Bourbon and Lavender and Cynar all shook up to the point of frothy deliciousness. Sass and I didn't even know what hit us, because mind you, this is lavender from the flower. As in... I'm going to take this flower and put it in your drink. Wrap your mind around THAT.

So delicious. Must go back... I mean... IT'S GOT LAVENDER IN IT.

The 8 Types of People You Meet on the Bus

2010-08-31T22:14:00.000-07:00

As you may know from previous posts - I've started to take the bus. It really is very simple and the mental break it allows me is well worth the buck fifty each way. Its an hour and 45 minutes a day where I'm not behind the wheel of a car and instead can be reading a script (or so my boss has discovered). I have, however, noticed a very distinct clustering of bus riders... there are 8.

1) Bestseller Reader

The bestseller reader doesn't want to just sit on the bus while it drives. NO! they're the type to seize their new found free time and get some of those books on their nightstand read. The bestseller reader, however, doesn't really have an opinion on literature, nor does she have anything that she needs to read, so she settles for a bestseller. You see, when people see the bestseller, they know its regarded as a good book, and in hopes the best seller reader will appear cultured and intellectual. Mam, please put "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" down and pick up something that actually interests you... like that People magazine slightly sticking out of your purse.

2) Phone Talker

Of being this person, I am guilty as charged. The phone talker has zero to no consideration for those around him and will talk on the phone while riding the bus. Bus riders sit in close quarters, but this doesn't stop the phone talker from discussing intimate conversations within earshot of 35 of his fellow commuters. This is his time and he'll use it as he pleases, damn it! Buses are loud places, which both bothers the phone talker and works to his advantage. You see, the phone talker hates nothing more than when the bus gets quiet and he realizes everyone is listening to his every word...

3) Angry Commuter

Rosa Parks... the angriest of commuters.

The angry commuter is not happy about having to take the bus and while often gripe and groan when things don't seem to be going her way. The angry commuter often yells out at the bus driver when things are taking too long, as if the bus driver can magically control traffic. She rarely smiles, and often stands up to see what's going on. Commonly heard on but 704 "Hello!? Some people have to get to work here!" The angry commuter is in direct conflict with-

4) The Flirt

The flirt stands directly behind the bus driver (behind the yellow line, of course) and talks to him as he drives. She is always chatty, flirty and overly sexual. She will talk with the driver about any old thing that comes to her mind. Honestly, she is lonely and this is one man who literally cannot go anywhere. On the rare occasion that en engages in conversation, he is liable to get distracted and forget that he is stopped at a light, even as it turns green and then yellow and then red again.

5) The Homeless Babbler

The psychotic babbler is just as much a nuisance as the phone talker. He is of the handful of... putting this politely... fuckin' nuts homeless people... that climb onto the bus, throw their pennies at the bus driver and take a seat or twelve. They are natural conversationalists, and I'm sure whoever it is they are talking to in their heads is enjoying the conversation. They are loud. Potentially even louder than the phone talker and definitely more distracting than the flirt. They usually have nothing to say, but say it anyways. Whenever possible, sitting next to this bus rider should be avoided.

6) The Nap on Wheels

What's that? You've got twenty whole minutes before your stop? Sounds like the perfect time for a cat nap! The nap on wheels is no slave to comfort and will make do with wherever his head will fall. Be it against a window, pole, or the bestseller readers shoulder, the nap on wheels is instantly snoozing. He miraculously wakes up in time to get off his stop and gets up as if nothing happens. The nap on wheels is someone I'm entirely jealous of because I would just sleep all the way to Santa Monica and back. That is, of course, unless I'm stuck next to the psychotic babbler.

7) The Green One

Hey! Another category I fit into. The green one is someone on the bus because it's better for the environment. They are not shy about their love of the Earth, or about proclaiming "how green" they are. Letting everyone know what you're doing, makes you a better person (right?). The green one can be seen carrying their Whole Foods canvas bags and sporting shirts with clever earth friendly messages on them. The green one is often hip, young, independent and financially capable of driving a car. Most green ones, do not remain bus riders, as they get frustrated with its limitations. They instead justify it to themselves that driving their hummer hurts, while bad for the environment, allows them to get to that yoga class on time after all.

8) Sandra Bullock

Avoid getting on the bus with her at all costs. Sandra Bullock will undoubtedly get into some sort of trouble with a terrorist and be forced to drive your bus over a bridge that does not exist. If you are stuck on a bus with this Academy Award winner, try and remain calm and do as Keanu says. Sandra Bullock will complain of gum on her seat and is only taking the bus because she got her license taken away for speeding. Sandra Bullock does not frequent buses anymore, but on the off chance she is on your bus, take a picture for me. I have yet to be in the presence of this rare sighting, Sandra Bullock.

Meatless Monday

2010-08-31T09:34:00.000-07:00

Meatless Monday is an international campaign that encourages people to not eat meat on Mondays to improve their health and the health of the planet. Reducing meat consumption by 15% (the equivalent of one day a week) lessens the risk of chronic preventable illness and has a strong impact on the environment.

A couple of months ago I saw a tweet from Olivia Wilde (Marissa Cooper's lesbian fling, or if you prefer, Number 13 on House) that mentioned #meatlessmonday. Intrigued, I looked it up. The above sentence is all it took to convince me to give it a try. I've always said I'd be a vegetarian if I didn't like meat so damn much. This was a way for me to at least have some sort of impact- if not the full impact vegetarians have- on the environment (and my health [those of you that know my family history know I'm doomed]). Vegetarians, I respect you...

...and I'm learning what you eat.

What started out as "breakfast for dinner" and "I'll just have a salad," has quickly escalated to spinach-basil pasta with yogurt sauce and homemade lentil burgers with potato salad.

The latter, being last nights meal. Denny, Lauren and I (you see, they have joined me on this endeavor) made these burgers from scratch-

No, that's not the picture from the recipe- that's the picture of my burger. Looks good, right? I'll tack the recipe onto the bottom of this-

After an hour of cooking, the three of us sat down to our burgers and had one of the most fun dinners I can recall having in a while. Maybe it was the wine (it was definitely the wine), but we laughed like it was no bodies business. Meatless Mondays.... bringing friends together since June. Sure, cooking dinner does it, it doesn't have to be meatless but this is a fuckin' adventure people. I made burgers OUT OF BEANS. Invite friends over. Experiment with food. Laugh like its nobodies business. and maybe help out the environment while you're at it.

Anyone have any amazing meatless recipes to send my way? Here's mine-

Lentil Burgers

3 Cups Green Lentils
1 Cup Whole Wheat Bread Crumbs
1/2 Teaspoon Sea Salt
5 Eggs
1/2 Diced Onion
1 Diced Carrot
1 Diced Tomato
Garlic to Taste
Pepper to Taste
Thyme to Taste
Spinach as Topping
Sliced Tomato as Topping
Ranch Dressing as Topping
Cheese as Topping (We used Mozzarella)

In a large pot, boil lentils until soft. They're going to need to be blended or food processed, so make sure they're not hard. Drain the water and put the lentils, eggs, salt, garlic, pepper and thyme into the food processor. NOTE: We tried using a blender and were only moderately successful. Might be because my blender is crap. Might be because a food processor works better. Anyways, we ended up blending/forking/spooning the lentil eggs mix until it had the consistency of a hummus. There were still some whole lentils for sure, but they made for a great texture. Place in a large mixing bowl and add the onions, carrots and tomatoes. NOTE: We didn't use the tomatoes last night. This is something I'm adding to the recipe because I think it would make the burgers a little bit juicier. I could be completely wrong on this.... Moving right along- mix that up and then slowly mix in your bread crumbs until the mixture is of a consistency that you can form patties out of. Make your patties (ours were too big... err on the smaller side) and then place in a frying pan with oil. We seasoned each side with a garlic/herb seasoning. Cook 7 minutes on each side until brown on both sides.

Place on a bun and garnish with spinach, tomato, ranch, and cheese. Serve with wine (duh.)

Enjoy.

Willy Wonka and the Hollywood Forever Cemetery

2010-08-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

"It's the most fun I've had in L.A."

That's what I'd heard. Of course I'm going to go in slightly skeptical and full of the highest hopes. I'd been pumped up to believe that evening movie screenings in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery were not only great, but a quintessential part of the Los Angeles experience.

I can now stand behind everything I'd heard and assure you that it is absolutely, 100%, positively true. If you get one Saturday in LA during the summer, and only one, this better be what's on your list to do.

Screenings in the cemetery are a fantastic way to spend a summer evening. Sure it sounds creepy (and it a little bit is) but as Megan put it as we were gallivanting through the gravestones - "It's kind of cool to be here and be really a live. You know? We're living in the moment with friends. we're not here for death. We're here for life." I might have paraphrased a bit - but that's the gist of what she was drunkenly rambling on about after the movie.

Yes, I said drunkenly. You see, it's not "public" in there so drinking.... TOTALLY ALLOWED.

Several bottle of wine, a shit-ton of snack, two bags of candy and a sushi platter later - we have a successful, drunk picnic in the cemetery for last night's movie: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. (No not the shitty one - the good one.)

Gates open at 7, so Nora, Kate, Mikey, Megan and I got there at about 5:30 to get in line. Kevin and Alex and Ashley soon joined us. Followed by Janove and Julie and Jordan. What a crowd! Apples to Apples passed the time (Kate and I are kindred Apples to Apples spirits)...and so did the wine. I was hammered before I even got through the gates into the cemetery.

500+ people crowded onto the lawn for one of the greatest cult movies ever. There was yelling. There was singing. There were snarky remarks. There was quotes. There was so much candy.

It was a ton of fun- but admittedly would have been less so had it not been for the amazing weather, great friends, and campy, fun movie.

I Promise(s Promises) that Ramin Setoodeh is Wrong

2010-08-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

Much as been said about Sean Hayes' performance in Promises, Promises and the subsequent Newsweek article panning his performance because of his out sexuality. Forgive my tardiness on the subject, but I didn't feel it was safe to destroy Ramin Setoodeh's argument in the article "Straight Jacket" until I'd seen the show myself. And now I can!

While in New York (full blog coming soon) Mikey and I got a chance to grab tickets to aforementioned musical. Sean Hayes and Kristin Chenoweth in the musical version of The Apartment? Sure!

I'll divert the subject for a moment to commend Kristin Chenoweth's powerhouse performance. Girl is incredible. She has so much power and such stage presence that it is impossible to take your eyes off of her.

Thought I stopped talking about the article? Think again. It is because of her power (not Hayes' sexuality) that the two don't have the chemistry they should. I honestly think this is neither of their faults, its just that Kristin Chenoweth needs to be put against other powerhouse belters (Idina Menzel, perhaps). Notice that Setoodeh left of Hayes chemistry with Marge (Tony Award winning Katie Finneran), instead criticizing her "drunkness". The two were spot on because they were on equal playing ground. Putting Hayes in a musical with Chenoweth and expecting him (and not just him-nearly anyone!) to be at her level is tough. She's too good to a fault.

But Chenoweth is not the only reason Setoodeh was wrong. He says Hayes isn't a leading man. Of course he's not! The character is a giant goof. He's silly. He's slapstick. We're not talking about your hyper-sexualized Danny Zuko here- this is Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors territory. This character doesn't have super manly traits. That's not Hayes fault.

And you! Audience member sitting in Promises, Promises, stop bringing Jack to the performance! Hayes isn't. It's got to be on close minded audience members who can't shake his previous work. I wasn't staring at Chenoweth and seeing April Roades. Unfortunately after successful TV shows, you can get stuck in a character. This is the audience's fault for bringing it with them- not your own.

So, bravo Sean Hayes and suck it Setoodeh.

Goodbye Century City, Hello Santa Monica

2010-07-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

The company move is finally upon us - after a good (ish) year in Century City the company is off the a more creative space in Santa Monica. Reasons for the move include, but are not limited to: bad ghosts in the office, the awful corporate atmosphere, new executives and lack of funds. Thats right, Santa Monica will be cheaper than Century City. Naturally, there are pros and cons to both locations. I for one will be glad to get out of this office though - hopefully some big changes will happen in the new building.... However, there are-

Things I'll miss about Century City:

-The proximity to my house. Don't get me wrong, it still takes me 30 minutes to get there during morning rush hour - but hell, it's closer than Santa Monica.

-The Starbucks in the ground level of my building. I don't even need to go anywhere to get my morning coffee! Amazing. They know my order. More amazing (or embarrassing)!

-The way the elevator says "going down" when I return to the lobby. I can't help but laugh... EVERY time.

-The awful fashion sense of people who work in a corporate setting. I'm especially fond of the ones that dress nice, but where tennis shoes.

-The view. I'm on the 21st story and can see out to the ocean. Even in Santa Monica, I'll rarely see the ocean.

-The Century City mall. It's so close! It has awesome food! It's an escape during lunch time, and it has a movie theatre we sometimes go to instead of doing work.

Things I'm looking forward to in Santa Monica:

-Being ocean side. I won't be able to see it, but it'll be there. Maybe somedays, I'll even go down there, just because I'm so close.

- The new building. It's an old abandoned warehouse that we're converting. It's going to be cool (and hopefully) creative. And hopefully I'll finally have a new assistant to help me out!

-The Daily Grill. I've missed it and there is one around the corner from my office. This will end poorly for my wallet, but so well for my stomach.

-TruYogaLA. I'm going to start doing yoga. Mark my words. There is a studio around the corner from the office, and while they don't have early morning classes as I'd hoped- they do have one I can do after work, or at lunch. We'll see how that goes!

-The bus. I'm going to take it. So long to my driving commute, and hello to the bus. Sure it might be sketch (because come on, who rides the bus in LA?) but its going to be an hour where I'm not wanting to kill myself in my car. Its an hour where I can do something else. Its an hour that my car isn't polluting the planet. I'll take the risk.

There is some bad too though, like how I have to contact every single person in contacts to tell them that we've moved. Or have to pack the entire office in boxes. Or how I need to order new stationary, business cards, letterheads, etc. because no one in the office had the foresight to plan ahead. How about how I still don't know the new phone number so I CAN'T do any of those things? Augh! The first few weeks in Santa Monica will be a mess, but then it will hopefully calm down. I'm going to really need that yoga.

Trailer Analysis: The Social Network

2010-07-13T17:17:00.001-07:00

If there is one thing I know about, it is social networking. I love my blog, my facebook, my twitter. Hell, I still I love my myspace (in a nostalgic type of way). I've been social networking since xanga (but you don't get the link to that, nice try). But enough about me-

David Fincher's trailer (the real one, not the teaser) for The Social Network has hit the Internet today. Let's take a look shall we?

Find the trailer here: The Social Network.

The trailer is presented as a series of status updates accompanied by the voices of actors reading them. Not very cinematic, but the movie can hardly be expected to be visually stunning. Its the type of story that might make for a better play.

This clearly means theres nothing interesting to show in the movie.

There is a definite feeling of drama amidst the founders (or those who can be presumed to be founders based on the trailer) of facebook. Who said what, who stole what from whom. It's the story of invention and court. A relationship drama. Sounds a lot like Flash of Genius. Look at how that did (you don't have to, I'll tell you: TERRIBLY).

Film is a visual medium and while it might have story, The Social Network, does not have visuals. Maybe stunt casting people like Justin Timberlake will put young people in seats, you see- aside from it's lack of visual appeal (that isn't the actors, I'll admit they're er... visually pretty. No, not you Jesse Eisenberg) there is another fundamental problem with a drama about facebook-

People my own age (aka The Facebook Generation) do not care about dramas. Very few people, in fact, care about dramas. So why would a movie, whose primary audience should be facebook users, gear itself for those looking for more distinguished dramatic fare (often, but not limited too, older people who know nothing about facebook). Maybe I'm being harsh on the elderly, maybe I'm being harsh on people my own age- but look at the movies in the marketplace- how many are dramas skewed for younger crowds?

Interestingly, the movie is placed in the "history" genre on IMDB. While facebook will be history, this movie will hardly make a historical dent.

The Relevance of Twitter

2010-07-10T21:04:00.001-07:00

Twitter, whether you like it or not, is relevant. It is also a hell of a lot of fun, but more on that later.

I didn't much understand the importance of twitter until recently. I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong - where else can you berate your friends with your humor? Where else can you win free screenings (I did, by the way - win tickets to a Paramount screening of Paranormal Activity)? Where else can you @ your friends? Twitter is a lot of fun for writers and for people who like to hear themselves talk. I am both of these things.

But relevant in my business? I never would have really guessed. Sure I would have stood by twitter and said "you can follow companies" to try and make it seem like something more than Facebook - but really, what did I know?

And then the Hollywood Fringe Festival happened. Hash tags (more in a bit) popped up like mad. #HFF from everyone associated and tweeting about the festival. And it worked. Suddenly we were bound. We could find and follow each other. We helped each other with costumes. We advertised our shows. We discussed venues and shared rehearsal pictures. We whored out the reviews we wrote (well.... I did). We were, in a sense, a mini online community. The festival was spread out, but twitter brought us together. I "met" other artists and writers and reviewers on twitter and then met them in real life. And it's not weird at all.

Hell, I got my job writing for the LA Theatre Review because someone posted it on twitter. Twitter makes things happen.

Reasons you should believe in twitter:

1) Like Myspace in the end, people want followers. Where in Facebook I will only accept friend requests from people I know, twitter allows you to follow anyone (whether they follow you back is another story entirely) but once following - you can mention (@) them in your tweets. It is much easier to connect to people you don't know yet, effectively building up your network, on twitter.

2) Hash tags (#LAThtr) instantly connect groups. Sure people tag things like #fail, but it works to unite communities as well. The LA Theatre scene has started to utilize twitter because of it's successful contribution to the fringe festival.

3) Jobs get posted on twitter. There are users you can follow that post job openings. You can follow people in the industry who might tweet job openings. Believe me, it happens. Just the other day I started following a woman (@cindymariej) who shares career advice to her followers and offers a weekly mailing of entertainment job openings.

4) As I mentioned before, you can follow companies on twitter. They post about what they're up to and what they want to be up to. I'm following every studio on twitter, and while it's often shameless self promotion of their latest action film, there often are tweets about the inner workings of the company as well. People hear things on twitter. It is often quoted. Hell, half the Emmy nominee reactions were quotes pulled from the nominee's twitter account.

5) In a world of instant news, twitter is the fastest. Earthquake? You'll know about it on twitter. Prop 8 trial won't allow cameras in? How about a live tweet from the courtroom. It happened and let all of us interested in the trial capable of following it (and not when its days old news).

So there you have it: my love letter to twitter. So the next time someone tries to tell you its just a string of status updates, slap them in the face with my blog.

And follow me on twitter - @marcusbkaye.

My name is Marcus Kaye, Bon Appetit!

2010-07-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

I have discovered something new. It's not new, per se, but its an area that never really found myself diving into. New for me- how about that? If the title didn't give it away, my new found obsession is FRENCH FOOD.

Prior to Julie & Julia (see that, Columbia Pictures, the movie DID reach someone) I'll be honest that my knowledge of French food was limited to bread, cheese and escargot. Given that I dislike cheese, I always kind of passed over that particular type of cuisine. What a mistake!

The first place I encountered french cooking was La Poubelle on Franklin in Franklin Village. Parking here is a bitch, so valet. It's worth it. Its dark and moody and the waiters are clad in bow ties. French posters adorn the walls and wine is served by the bottle. I got trout doused in butter and spices and served with baked red potatoes. It was incredible. Rich and creamy and flaky and buttery.

Next was Figaro Cafe on Vermont in Los Feliz. This French cafe feels like it could have been right out of France. Table crammed together outside. People smoking. Dark coffee. My friend Kyle and I went for breakfast and I had some of the best eggs Florentine (a variation of the French eggs Benedict) I'd ever had. There's something about the mornay sauce that it's covered in that I absolutely love. I'd probably go ahead and say that this is my favorite French place in LA thus far, although I'm going to continue expanding my horizons.

This place looks like a gimmick. To French food what Taco Bell is to Mexican, but I assure you it's the real thing. On Santa Monica Boulevard, amidst the bars, is the Paris Crepe Cafe. I've been twice, once for sweet crepes and another time for savory. The Nutella/ banana sweet crepes were delicious and fattening and wonderful. Served with whipped creme AND ice cream, I dare you to say no to these. The savory crepes were good, but I'd recommend La Poubelle for those if that's truly what you're feeling. I shall call this my favorite place for French dessert.

You all know I'm as thin as a rail - maybe a few more trips to French restaurants will cure me of that. Ha!

My next foyer will be in cooking it! Art of French Cooking, anyone? Bon Appetit!

HFF: Days 7-11

2010-06-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

It's over. It's hard to believe, really. Final show tally: 5 One-Woman Shows, 1 Musical, 4 Comedy Shows, and 2 Dramas. 12 Different shows. 13 performances. The Hollywood Fringe Festival was one of the best things I've ever done in L.A. Hell, it was one of the best things I've ever done in my entire life. Don't believe me? Let's recap:

-I got published.

-Tons of free shows.

-New friends.

-Did I mention I got published?

-I felt respected. Like my opinion counted.

-My networking ability went through the roof (as did my network!)

I can guarantee that I'll be back next year. I regret only finding Fringe Central (the bar/hangout of freaks like me) at the end. It's a great little hub where anyone talks to anyone and networks (and friendships) are made. It was a lot like summer camp. An 11 day getaway from life, where you make those amazing connections given your short amount of time together. It was a breath of fresh air in my work-filled life. And just like summer camp, I'll miss everyone I met and can't wait to do it again next summer.

This round of shows was vastly superior to the first batch. Standouts were The Birthday Boys and Medea. Both brilliant and moving. I saw The Birthday Boys twice. I would have done the same for Medea, had I had time. Congrats to both on their Fringe award wins!

Reblogged from www.LATheatreReview.com

The Birthday Boys at The Complex Theatres

by Marcus Kaye~

To say that this very well may be the best thing to go up in the Fringe is an understatement. The Birthday Boys is written, directed and performed to perfection.

Playwright Aaron Kozak effortlessly taps into the psyches of three Prisoners Of War in Iraq. Painting a vivid and accurate picture of America’s involvement in Iraq, the first act focuses solely on our three heroes, captured while keeping a storage unit secure. Bound and gagged, they are thrown into a warehouse, their futures left up to the darkness of their imaginations. They bond and somehow manage to find the humor in their situation, placing bets on whom will piss their pants first.

The second act introduces the terrorists and continues through their torture and plea videos to their families. As their bravery shrinks but their bond grows stronger, The Birthday Boys ends in a way you’ve got to see to believe.

The play is brilliantly acted by the three marines, who (given their blindfolds and arm and leg ties) are only allowed their voices and slight torso movements to communicate. And yet, they each draw distinct, believable characters from their limited range of motion. The emotions are real, and the play is dependent on the bond we see them form in the first act. Smartly written and thoroughly performed, nothing about these POWs feels disingenuous.

With raw emotion, distinct and intriguing characters and a look into the war in Iraq that is rarely seen, The Birthday Boys isn’t to be missed.

The Birthday Boys plays June 24, 25 & 26 at 9pm and June 26 & 27 at 3pm

Reblogged from www.LATheatreReview.com

Existential Crises at Art|Works Theatre

by Marcus Kaye~

Billed as comedy that explores the ironic questions of existence, Existential Crises, featuring Second City alums Mike Cherry and Matt Peterson, gets it half right. While the show is indeed a comedy (and a funny one at that) is does very little to look beyond the surface of “existence.”

Whether they’re lying about their past lives, hanging out with an old friend from high school, or living in a world where horses and humans have switched to be master and pet respectively, Cherry and Peterson have the successful comedic ability to draw laughs from their audience. They are, in fact, funniest when they are playing versions of “themselves,” as opposed to the half-baked characters they create.

While some sketches drag on too long, the bits as a whole are nicely written and showed Cherry and Peterson’s comedic ranges. Particularly funny were pantomimes spoofing 90’s action films and old Westerns. Audiences looking for deep meaning within their comedy should look elsewhere, but those simply looking for a few laughs should strongly consider Existential Crises.

Existential Crises plays June 19 & 20 at 9pm at i.O. West, June 25 at 10:30pm and June 26 at 8pm at Art|Works Theatre.

Medea at The Complex Theatres

I saw this one on my own, with no prompt from the LA Theatre Review. In fact, the very reason I went was because, as I was standing outside and waiting for Dancing with Crazies to start two Thursdays ago, I ran struck up a conversation with a boy with feathers in his hair. This boy was Ryan Mullins, of PaperStrangers and he was a part of the cast of Medea. He told me to come to the show and you know what.... I did.

Best decision I could have made. Michael Burke's interpretation of Medea was BREATHTAKING. Gorgeous. Haunting. Creepy. Wonderful. Powerful. Emotional. I was captivated by the precision of the chorus, the emotional depth of Medea (Melissa Fenton), and the two staring children hanging from the rafters.

Technically this show was spectacular and while this review is essentially me using words to tell you how amazing the performances is, nothing I say can do it (and it's feather motif) justice. It's coming to the DC Fringe and I suggest, nay urge, anyone in the area at the time to drop what they're doing and go find out how Medea could kill her children. Kudos to Burke and his PaperStrangers company. They quickly became Fringe friends of mine, and several drinks in - I'm going to miss them. They're a phenomenal, talented group and I can't wait to see what they put on next.

Reblogged from www.LATheatreReview.com

The Meanest Guy That Ever Lived at the Hudson Theatre

by Marcus Kaye~

Lily Spottiswoode’s one-woman show, The Meanest Guy That Ever Lived, focuses on her grandfather’s last moments after being moved home to die. Playing a multitude of characters in her family that “doesn’t have breakfast, but has a morning cigarette,” Spottiswoode embodies each of her family members and each of their journey’s through dealing with the death of Spottiswoode’s grandfather, Jack Palance.

Spottiswoode’s strength is in her ability to vocalize. She is able to change her tone, inflection and sound in a heartbeat, easily creating a different persona for each of her family members. Her grandfather’s lover, Elaine, is particularly entertaining (as is her habit to drink, shed her clothes and run in the street). Spottiswoode has talent, and this show clearly showcases that.

Examining how people deal with death, The Meanest Guy That Ever Lived, could have had more meaningful, touching moments. It felt a little short and dry, leaving me yearning for more. More of Elaine. More of Jack Palance. More of Spottiswoode.

The Meanest Guy That Ever Lived plays June 19 at 8pm and June 26 at 9:30pm at the Hudson Theatre.

That's Funny. You Didn't Sound Black on the Phone at The Complex Theatres

What a title, right? This was another show I wasn't assigned to, but rather went out of sheer interest (and because my PaperStrangers friends were going AND because Jacquetta and I had become Twitter followers of one another [Twitter was a HUGE part of the Hollywood Fringe. Anyone who says it's not actually a networking tool did not witness the #hff tags that went up on half of Hollywood's tweets]).

Jacquetta's show about coming to terms with her level of "blackness" was hilarious (even to those of us who have never been to a gospel church, and have never been called out based on skin color). The fact of the matter is, Jacquetta didn't feel black. Sure she was, but she hung out with white people all her life and while she didn't want to BE white, she just didn't FEEL black.

Her journey is hilarious. Her delivery spot on and her themes, surprisingly, universal.

I got to talking to her at Fringe Central and to our surprise an hour had suddenly passed. She's an amazing, hysterical woman who is based in NYC and you can bet your ass when I go in August, I'll be seeing her stand up show.

Reblogged from www.LATheatreReview.com

Wet Cookies at Theatre Asylum

by Marcus Kaye~

Wet Cookies is the rare type of comedy show in which the laughter starts at the onset and continues, non-stop, for an hour. True, the show is only 45 minutes, but the first fifteen minutes spent out of the theatre will surely find audience members continuing to laugh at the multitude of comical moments in the show.

Whether they’re imaging what would have happened if the Magic School Bus stopped in Nazi Germany, recounting the time they accidentally called their fourth grade teacher “mom,” or holding a still pose for an absurd amount of time, the Wet Cookies sketches never fail to deliver. Notably funny was Mallie McCown’s retelling of the thoughts of a monarch butterfly.

If these sketches sound bizarre on paper, it’s only because they are. But the cast commendably makes each sketch memorable, true, and most of all- funny. The pace is quick and the laughs are big. Cleverly broken up into long and short sketches, Wet Cookies is a wonderfully devised little show.

Direction by Adam Sass and technical direction by Adam Griffith are top notch.

Wet Cookies plays June 19 at 5:30pm, June 20, 22 at 10pm, June 26 at 11:30pm, and June 27 at 7pm at Theatre Asylum and June 19 at 9:00 PM at i.O. West.

Reblogged from www.LATheatreReview.com

Eat, Pray, Laugh at Theatre Asylum

by Marcus Kaye~

Borrowing her title from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book about finding enlightenment in India, comedian Alicia Dattner’s one-woman show tells the story of Dattner’s excursion to India where she went looking for herself.

Eat, Pray Laugh is set on an empty stage, with only a chair. Dattner humorously recounts her search for self in India, focusing on the comedic moments, like learning to use an Indian toilet and the multitude of mustaches on the Indians she encounters. She often recounts how many men were in love with her there that made her feel great, but not fulfilled.

Her quest for fulfillment is told in a straightforward manner. It is not unlike being in a living room somewhere, nodding along at each picture of the Taj Mahal, but secretly wishing for this story to end. With frequent tangents and conversational moments with the audience, Eat, Pray, Laugh hardly felt like a performance.

Dattner is charming, likeable and frequently funny, but the show as a whole never truly takes off. The story is interesting; it’s the story-telling that needs polishing.

Eat, Pray, Laugh plays June 24 at 7pm,  June 25 at 4pm, June 26 at 5:30pm and June 27 at 8:30 PM at Theatre Asylum.

How fitting that my last (and first) fringe shows were one-woman shows that mentioned their vaginas. Exactly what I expected from such shows, but not what I wanted to hear about!

Until next year!

HFF: Days 1-6

2010-06-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

So this Fringe has begun! Three one-woman shows, a comedy game show and a musical later, I have my first batch of reviews (three of which were published: here)!

What was fun/terrifying about this first one is that everyone seemed to know the actress. After being asked several times, "oh what are you doing here?" I quickly developed a lie so all of Amy's friends and family wouldn't find out (until later of course) that I was critiquing her every move.

Reblogged from www.LAtheatrereview.com:

Dancing with Crazies at The Complex Theatres
by Marcus Kaye~

With an abundance of energy, Amy Milano took the stage for her one-woman show, Dancing with Crazies. The comedy follows Milano’s desire for acceptance and her search for the meaning of “home”. Milano unifies, through dance, her life experiences- such as childhood with her grandmother, study abroad classes in Africa, and dating in Brooklyn- looking for a place to call home along the way.

While Milano enjoyably captures the caricatures of those around her, it is the fictional version of herself that she seems to struggle with. Instead of presenting any depth or growth, she offers herself in a flat, one-note fashion.

The play, written by Milano, focuses on the idea of home, but feels purposeless. With no greater message about acceptance, or meaningful explanation as to what or where home actually is, Dancing with Crazies is simply a self-indulgent excuse for Milano to “showcase” herself.

Lighting by Sarah Templeton aided in varying the scenes and the sound by Andrew Wickens helped to unify the piece overall.

Dancing with Crazies plays June 17 at 9pm and June 19 at 4pm

Betty at The Asylum Lab
by Marcus Kaye~

If Kellydawn Malloy, as the 50’s Paramount Starlet Betty Hutton, seems slightly distracted and lost, there is no surprise why. This one-woman show, written and directed by Shelby Bond is scattered and disjointed and presented in a different order every night. The audience is given a series of topics allowed to ask Ms. Hutton in the press conference that is this play. The audience picks interview topics in any order, leaving Malloy to jump from one monologue to the next.

Malloy has Hutton down and is adorable throughout the tales of "Annie Get Your Gun," and working with director Cecil B DeMille during his heart attack. When asked about her time in the USO she skillfully belts out a number she did for the troops. When accidentally asked about her time in the USO again by a latecomer audience member, Malloy did a quick, comedic recap which was somehow even more entertaining than the first time she told it.

There is no denying Malloy's talent. She quickly switches from happy stories to her drug addiction and alcoholic mother. She juggles emotions as the audience juggles her interview topics. The structure of the play, however, hurts it. It provides no opportunity for through line or growth. And Malloy’s Hutton mentions things in one monologue that she comes back to in others because of the disorganized structure. There are no plants and payoffs because we’re often told the end before she is asked about the beginning.

Given a straight structure, this play would have been undeniably more enjoyable, and would have left Malloy considerably less flustered.

Betty plays at June 19 at 1pm, June 20 at 5:30pm, June 21, 22 at 7pm
and June 27 at 4pm at Theatre Asylum.

Jeb and Jeremiah at The Hudson Theater
So much fun, as always. Read my review here. I brought Banner and Mikey and they both laughed themselves silly. It was wonderfully received and my choice show the weekend (unbiased, I swear). Kudos to Janove, Collin and the wonderful cast!

Reblogged from www.LAtheatrereview.com:

Deadly Sin Bingo at the Second City Studio Theatre
by Marcus Kaye~

With no plot to speak of, audience participation, games and prizes, and a finale sing-a-long, Deadly Sin Bingo can hardly be considered the theatrical experience that it’s touting itself to be- but that doesn’t make it any less fun.

Led by Jon Marco as the enthusiastic game-show host, Father Chuck Martini, the Deadly Sin Bingo show is divided into three bingo games, each based on different deadly sins. Winning audience members are awarded prizes that reflect the contrasting heavenly virtue.

The show doesn’t branch out further than themed bingo, but Marco’s on-the-fly improv, and the supporting commentary provided by Jenni Lamb and Lisa Merkin as Sister Cherisse and Sister Roberta, respectively, moves the show along, providing a bevy of laughs along the way.

The show is ludicrous without ever being blasphemous, but it often opts for silliness over substance. Any real commentary about the nature of sin is avoided and while this might not be the proper place for righteousness, it is the proper place for entertainment. It might not have heart– but it’s got prizes.

Deadly Sin Bingo plays June 17, 19 and 21 at 10pm and June 20 at 2pm at The Second City Studio Theatre and June 26 at 1PM at ComedySportz LA.

Reblogged from www.LAtheatrereview.com:

A Picnic at the Asylum at the Hudson Theatre
by Marcus Kaye~

From the moment she steps onto the stage, Angela Neff has the audience in the palm of her hand, or rather, in the seat of her father’s woody. Neff’s stage presence alone is reason enough to see A Picnic at the Asylum. Factor in her seamless character transitions, a darkly comedic story, and a compelling examination of father/daughter relationships and what results is nothing short of a Hollywood Fringe hit.

Bravely portraying her bi-polar father, pregnant mother and 6 other siblings, Neff paints a fascinating picture of suburban life with her manic depressive dad. Through AA, asylum picnics and birthday dinners, the audience grows up with Neff, clearly seeing how she could both love and hate her father.

Neff’s mannerisms are so distinct, that she is able to fluidly transitions between her multitude of personalities by simply changing gesture. While other one-man shows rely on costumes or dialogue to mark the transition, it is Neff’s physicality here that does the trick.

The story hits the dramatic highs and lows of Neff’s childhood without ever dragging or feeling redundant. Expertly written and full of surprises, the script is pitch perfect.

A Picnic at the Asylum plays June 19 at 5pm, June 20 and 25 at 8pm and June 22 and 23 at 9:30pm at the Hudson Theatre.

Hollywood Fringe Festival

2010-06-14T14:52:00.000-07:00

This Thursday marks the beginning of the Hollywood Fringe Festival. It's the first ever in Hollywood. Approximately 200 shows will go up in a scattering of theater across Los Angeles for 10 days. During those 10 days I will be seeing 9 shows and reviewing them for LA Theater Review (a job I'd like to thank both blogspot and twitter for helping me secure). My loyalty will temporarily shift to them, but expect the reviews to be posted here shortly after.

Here is what my week looks like:

Thursday Night: Dancing with Crazies - 1 Woman Show - 8:30PM @ The Complex

Sunday Night: Jeb and Jeremiah - Musical - 8:00PM @ The Hudson

Monday Night: Deadly Sin Bingo - Comedy - 10:00PM @ Second City Studio Theater

Thursday Night: The Birthday Boys - Drama - 9:00PM @ The Complex

Friday Night: Existential Crises - Sketch Comedy - 10:30PM @ Art|Works Theatre

Saturday Night: The Meanest Guy That Ever Lived - 1 Woman Show - 9:30PM @ The Hudson

Sunday Night: Wet Cookies - Sketch Comedy - 7:00PM @ Theater Asylum

Eat, Pray, Laugh - 1 Woman Show - 8:30PM @ Theater Asylum

Attentive readers will notice that that is only 8 shows, but have no fear... there will be 9. I'm just missing a Wednesday night assignment!

As a critic I get two tickets to each show, so if there is one you want to come see with me, let me know!

Jeb & Jeremiah: Alive in 2010

2010-06-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

There is a problem with indie theater today- not enough show times. They just don't have the money. They go up, they close and if they are lucky enough to have a reviewer attend, it does little good when the review comes out. It gives readers and potential theater patrons about two shows to see before the show is rushed out of the theater. This year's Hollywood Fringe Festival is no exception-

That is why I, here at Old Hollywood Calls, have opted to do a pre-show, completely biased, review of Jeb and Jeremiah: Alive in 2010!!!!

Written by David Janove, with music by Collin Martin, Jeb and Jeremiah's opening could be right out of Singing in the Rain. The world famous silent comedy duo of Jeb (Clay Keller) and Jeremiah (Russell Ford) are on the verge of smashing success and the verge of "talkies."

At the request of their producer Marcy (Annie Chernecky, channeling her best Kate Hepburn) they move forward on their first "talkie," a musical about love. The best friends brain storm, and shortly after they learn that all love doesn't end in pedophilia, something strange happens: TIME TRAVEL!

In the future (our present) we quickly scoot past some off-color jokes to a bevy of strange characters (including, but not limited to): a hyper-sexual Rachel (played with a childlike intensity by the lovely Kate Alden), the elderly Francis (Craig Shields), a chorus of library singers and the least threatening gangsters you've ever met.

In a Wizard of Oz-esque fashion, our characters journey to find their way home (stopping of course, along the way, for a handful of musical numbers).

Ladies and gentleman, this show is funny. Aside from some stand-out one liners written by Janove (who also directs) the cast is on top of their game when it comes to improv and comedic timing. A challenge anyone to watch Russell's comedic idiocy without laughing, especially when paired with Clay's stone faced Jeb.

Vocally, Britt Keller, as young Francis is the stand out. Her solo during the opening number is gorgeous, and I couldn't help but wish for her to sing more in the show. That's not saying the rest of the cast is something to plug your ears for. Their all perfectly capable singers, who thanks to Martin's gorgeous music - are made to sound extraordinary. The songs are yet another high point of the show, ranging from the gorgeous, with "Someone to Sing With" to the wildly comedic "Train to Ohio" (which is young Kimmy Shield's time to shine as a puppy drowning gold-digger).

So what I suppose I'm trying to say here is COME TO THIS DAMN SHOW. It's funny. The cast is talented (and good-looking) and it's an all around good time. Come for the fun that you'll have in the audience and that feel-good feeling when you leave.

The costumes look fantastic (shameless plug! I did them) but the credit has to go to the extremely passionate, dedicated, talented and ballsy David Janove and Collin Martin.

Showtimes: Click here!

Tickets: Click here!

See you in the future/past/theater!

Trailer Analysis: Tangled

2010-06-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

I make no attempt to hide my love of animated films. The first movie I remember seeing in theaters is Disney's Beauty and the Beast. They've always held a spot in my favorite movies. And with the likes of Wall-E, Up (okay...Pixar movies), The Princess and the Frog and How to Train Your Dragon - I thought we were bouncing around in a golden age of animation. So how fitting that the tale of the girl with the long golden hair should work it's way into my golden age.

I always thought the story of Rapunzel was pretty simple, so naturally, I was interested in seeing how they'd do it. Then they released these stills and I was through the moon excited.

The first tip off should have been that Mandy Moore was cast as the voice of Rapunzel. But, I kept my chin up....

And then they released the trailer. Never in the history of movies has my expectations of a film shattered so quickly. Catch the trailer here, and find my commentary after the last beautiful still.

What you just watched was indeed for a Disney movie, as a follow up to the Oscar nominated Princess and the Frog. No, that wasn't a Shrek movie, although had they titled it Shrek and Rapunzel down a 5th of Vodka (see what I did there? Cleverly incorporating the sequel number into the title) I wouldn't have batted an eye. I'll need a fifth to get through this.

Here's what went wrong:

The princess: Let me break this down for you: Rapunzel is a damsel in distress. She is locked in a tower, and thus has not gotten a haircut, resulting in some long ass hair. This is not that Rapunzel. This is the female empowerment Rapunzel. A slightly superhero-esque version of the princess. Her hair has fucking powers! With powers like that, why does she need some strapping prince to rescue her? And without that need, pray tell, what is the point of the movie?

The prince: Who is this guy? Cocky, self-centered, seems to me like he's the perfect foil for our heroine. But Disney has forgotten, in their desire to make the female strong-willed, that boys watch Disney movies too. This is not the type of guy they should grow to be. I know they've got other movies too, but come on. This guy is a joke. And the main character (as is appears in the trailer). Give me someone real.

The style: After all the hubbub about returning to their roots with hand drawn animation they give us this? You're joking me. This is a classic story and deserves to be presented as such.

The music: Reminiscent of the Smash Mouth cover of I'm a Believer in Shrek, the use of a pop rock soundtrack is wildly out of place in the medieval setting. Stick with catering the soundtrack to the era, Disney, a la the Jazzy New Orleans sound of The Princess and the Frog.

The title: Why not just call it Rapunzel? There is no brand recognition with Tangled. If it's an attempt to make the story relevant and hip, it's painfully amiss.

Mind you I had to watch this trailer several times to dissect it. Punishment I wouldn't even put my worst of enemies through.

Sometimes...

2010-06-02T11:44:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I have to sit back and remind myself that I'm getting paid to make movies. How cool is that?

Please Give this movie a chance

2010-05-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

Summer thus far has been less than exciting for movies. Maybe it's changing tastes, but there is something wrong when I'm more excited for the Joan Rivers documentary, A PIECE OF WORK, than I am for TOY STORY 3, or any of the other "summer blockbusters." That being said, when staring at the movie marquee today I opted out of PRINCE OF PERSIA or SEX AND THE CITY 2 and voted to see the Manhattan based dramedy, PLEASE GIVE - starring Catherine Keener, Oliver Platt, Rebecca Hall and Amanda Peet.

Nicole Holofcener, channeling her best Woody Allen delivers a compelling character study of a woman grappling with guilt. Catherine Keener plays Kate, a wealthy New York furniture dealer and mother. She, along with her husband Alex (Oliver Platt) buy the furniture from the children of their deceased neighbors and resell it in an upscale 5th Avenue furniture store. As their business expands, they make plans to expand their apartment: by buying the apartment of their elderly neighbor, Andra (Ann Morgan Guilbert) and waiting for her to die.

Guilbert is old, senile and cranky, and doesn't look like she's going anywhere anytime soon. She is cared for by her grand-daughter Rebecca (Rebecca Hall, donning a frumpy wardrobe, bad teeth and greasy hair). Amanda Peet plays her other grand-daughter, Mary, who could care less about her ailing grandmother.

Peet's relationship with Guilbert is the most authentic in the piece, and struck close to home, as all I could see in their correspondence was my relationship with my great-grandmother. Both speak their mind, no matter how rude, causing a huge clash and strain on Hall who attempts to make peace. I was Peet (which makes it even more awkward when Peet and Platt find themselves in some sexually uncomfortable positions).

Catherine Keener, fabulous as always, feels tremendous guilt for her success and doesn't seem to understand why her husband doesn't feel it as well. She carries her guilt on her sleeve and makes up for it by volunteering and handing out money to homeless on the street (much to the chagrin of her daughter, played by Sarah Steele). She can't handle it though, and while she feels like she should give back, she has a hard time actually doing so. Holofcener has written a beautiful disaster for Keener and it's entertaining to watch her unravel from the safety of the audience.

The characters have little to no arcs, but this film isn't about change. It is instead about being a fly on the wall and watching the intersecting lives of a handful in New York. The characters are compelling, and while of course we want them to change, it is not so unsatisfying to see them end precisely where they started.

Overall, I recommend seeing it if you're feeling something a bit off beat that will make you think. The performances and production value are strong and at 95 minutes, it's a quick glimpse into a life that isn't your own.

Please give this movie a chance, it might be a better option than the traditional summer fare.

Playing Dress Up: A Blog About Costumes

2010-05-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

My current Hollywood excursion has involved a lot less alcohol and a lot more money. What could I possibly be spending money on that isn't booze and rent? Costumes.

Have no fear, it's not MY money, but rather that of the production JEB & JEREMIAH: ALIVE IN 2010.

I wouldn't exactly call myself new to the costume scene, but this is only my second costuming excursion in LA (the others, all being for short films in Orange County). Don't get me wrong, there was certainly a high frequency of trips to LA when we needed things we couldn't find in the thrift stores/costume stores/fabric stores in Orange County - but now... now it's all LA, baby.

Costumes are important to any production because they do a fascinating trick. Acting aside, they take a person you could see on the street and make them someone else. It does this not only for the audience, but also for the actor. Costumes are important to actors to find the character inside themselves. Inside the clothes.

Prepare yourself, this is going to be a long one (you wish that what she said. or he. I don't judge). Items of discussion in the most important costuming blog: Design, Film, Theater, Colors, Stores & Jeb and Jeremiah

Lets get into this then, shall we?

DESIGN

I'll admit to you now, I don't sew. It makes being a costume designer difficult. It's on my list of things to learn. So for now, I design and then find the pieces to match my vision. It's difficult, but it works for now. If I had an arsenal of seamstresses my life would be much easier. Design is important though. You've got to know what you want. Walking into the stores I shop at can be an overwhelming experience and if you don't know what you're looking for- you'll quickly get lost in blazers and trench coats and sweaters. that being said, sometimes you stumble upon a piece that throws your design out the window. Be prepared to let it go. The piece you find is better than the one in your head.

FILM

You can get away with a lot less in film, because sometimes the camera is closer to the outfit than you'd ever want. It's for THIS reason that I find pre-made pieces, as opposed to try and make them myself. For S.S. HUMANITY we needed white jumpsuits that we then ended dying light blue for camera. How I wish we could have simply found light blue tops to begin with. The end result was fine, but I was terrified that my uneven bucket dye job would show on camera.

THEATER

Much more freedom, and much more room for fun. It might just be a misguided notion in my head, but I feel like you can get away with so much more on stage because it doesn't need to look as real. You can be extravagant. You can play with color. You can be surreal. I know you can do this in film, but in my opinion you can get away with stylization so much more in theater. Unless you work for Tim Burton. The thing about theater costumes, more than film, is that they need to look like they belong together. Lots of characters on stage need to look like they're from the same world. That's why, when it came to costuming DOG SEES GOD, Anna and I used American Apparel for all our base colors.

Well that... and the fact that we fucking love American Apparel.

COLORS

I love playing with color more than anything else. Sure, you can learn things from fabric and cut, but COLOR, my goodness. I really love colors. All of them. It's my high school background in art, I think, that makes color so important to me. Never just put someone in a color. Every color means something. Every color means multiple things. And what about color combinations? And what about when there's a change in color for an actress? What internal change does it represent? There is a simpler character in JEB AND JEREMIAH who I am costuming in primary colors to illustrate her simple nature. Things like that... things that NO ONE will EVER notice- those are the types of things I love in costuming. In THE SPRINKLER we transitioned the old man from Velcro shoes to lace up to illustrate his gained mobility. Do I think anyone caught it? No. But they registered it subconsciously. (That last bit.... not about color. Sorry!)

Jumping back to the primary colors real quick - if you ever work with me you will quickly learn that primary colors are my signature. It's how I leave my mark on things. I try and incorporate them somewhere in everything artistic I do.

STORES

Squaresville- I first came across Squaresville when costuming A VISIT OF CHARITY. It's a vintage store tucked away on Vermont Avenue. It's phenomenal and I make trips out there often (especially since Ozzie Dots it right over there). Most of the stores I hit up are vintage stores, since most of the things I end up costuming are vintagey feeling, if not set in the past completely.

Ozzie Dots- Part costume store, part vintage store. What more could you ask for? Props? Okay, it's got them too. It's amazing and I could spend HOURS in there. Lesley and I have. Mikey and I have. Alison and I have. It's terrific.

American Vintage- It's on Melrose. It's great and the cheapest of all the vintage stores mentioned here.

Jet Rag- It's huge. The biggest of all of these by far. Two stories of excellence. Sundays they have a 1$ sidewalk sale. Check it out. Also vintage.

American Apparel- I swear I'm not endorsed by them. The plain colors and standard pieces are great building blocks to costumes.

JEB AND JEREMIAH

One of my most daunting challenges yet. A play that starts in the 1920's and then time travels to the present. I needed to be able to create not just one world with costumes - but two.

Here's a look at the two most opposite costumes in the show: Jeb and Jeremiah's and the sexy dancers. If that doesn't make you want to see the show, I don't know what will. Check it out. I had a lot of fun with this one. Hitting all the aforementioned stores. It's gonna be a good one.

The reason I end on Jeb and Jeremiah is so that I can urge you all to see it, as its coming soon. There will be more on Jeb and Jeremiah in the weeks to come. Stay tuned.

Tommy Curry @ The Pig n' Whistle and the Great Apartment Hunt of 2010

2010-05-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend started out at 8PM at the Pig n' Whistle on Hollywood Blvd. My friend Tommy Curry (check him out here).

After a wonderfully folksy set, a few drinks and plenty of back and forth with the enthusiastic audience of about 25, Tommy played his last song (which was featured in his sister's short film) and called it a night.

Mikey and I, however, did not.

To Fiesta we went where we ran into a friend of Mikey's and his friends.

Cut to it being 4 in the morning and I'm finally pulling myself into bed. It was an epic night of too many drinks (I blame you, Jeremy! Sweet Tea Vodka is the death of me).

And then there was the pizza, networking, and hanging out in an apartment talking.

I'd be remiss if I didn't share this story though: Jeremy and I are walking to my car and are stopped by two teenagers (1 male, 1 female). The conversation went something like this:

Teenage Boy: Can we ask you kind of a weird question?

Jeremy: Sure.

Teenage Boy: How much would you pay my friend or I to blow you?

Marcus: Nothing.

Teenage Girl: Okay, what if it wasn't us. How much would you pay someone?

Marcus: Nothing.

Jeremy: I don't know.

Teenage Girl: We asked that other guy over there and he said 60 bucks.

Jeremy: We wouldn't.

And with that we walked away. Did we just get solicited by prostitutes? Because I think we did....

I pulled myself out of bed Saturday morning to begin

The Great Apartment Hunt of 2010.

Here's some pictures of what we found.

Notable highlights:

-Mr. Bess, an elderly landlord who lectured Denny and I on the trouble with America today (it was credit cards)

-A landlord who described the tenants of her building as "kids that belong on a TV show"

-Denny starving

-Passing the Fat Burger on Santa Monica 17 times

-Running around LA with Denny

-The apartment that smelt like cat pee

And this gem, the potential future home of Denny and I....

and that was just Friday and Saturday....

Writing is Rewriting

2010-05-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

Many of you know about it, but the Internet has not been graced with my tales of rewriting this script for RKO. The title and premise shall at this time remain nameless but let's just say the original was something like this....

and we want to make it more like this...

It was at first an exciting endeavor. I quickly got over that. Shit, rewriting is hard. Like really hard. Luckily, I'm not personally invested in any of the previous material. My own feature, sits untouched after the first draft because of this challenge. It is a challenge all writers face. So I quickly got over my excitement to make a gem and stared at 100 daunting pages of terrible dialogue and action blocks. The only thing this script had was a premise... and even that needed work. How on Earth was I going to do this?

What works for me:

DEADLINE: If I don't have a deadline it will never get done. My boss said "as fast as possible." Those words literally meant nothing to me. It wasn't until I told myself that I needed to be done June 1 that I actually got my ass in gear and started working.

SPACE: If it's my own work, I've got to put it down and separate myself from it for a while. If my story as-is is what's running through my brain, I'll never be able to look at it in a new light.

PLACE: I will never, ever, ever be able to write something in my apartment. I have to go somewhere else, with the simple purpose of writing. Solar de Cahuenga usually serves that purpose, but every now and then I'll change it up.

MUSIC: I currently have a playlist for the project I'm working on. Things that fit thematically, or tonally to whatever it is I'm writing at the time. Things on this project's playlist-

"Before He Cheats" - Carrie Underwood

"Irreplaceable" - Beyonce (spellcheck doesn't recognize her name as a word. How dare they!)

"Love Kills" - Little Boots

COFFEE: Must have it to write. If it's late I'll drink decaf. It's a "setting" thing.

DELETE: I took the original. Read a scene. Deleted it and then rewrote it. It's much easier for me to do it that way then to try and change things in the document. It's slightly more work, but the work feels more like my own AND I'm less likely to let things slide, or just leave certain things that aren't working but I don't know how to get around sitting their on the page.

Now I just need to finish this. I'll be at Solar de Cahuenga tonight. And tomorrow night. And This weekend. And so on and so forth.

See you in the credits.

I Have Savage Love

2010-05-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

Without even turning down the house lights, she comes onto the stage and begins adjusting her tits. Lady Gaga's Telephone has just faded away and I'm sitting in Chapman University's Waltmar Theater about to watch Savage Love by Sam Shepard and Joseph Chaikin and directed by Brian Drummy.

The play, traditionally presented as slam poetry by one actor, has had new life, young life, my life breathed into it by Brian Drummy who delivers a sexy and moving version of "Love." A relatable version, as Drummy points out "I took it as a challenge to interpret the play and bring to it some kind of relatable-ness for our generation (aka the people who would see it). We have to work from a playing of showing what we KNOW."

Set to thumping club beats, we are thrust into a dim lit bar, not unlike the bar down the street. The attractive cast takes the stage and begins primping for a night on the town. The dialogue of the play is interrupted by dance breaks, drunken ad-libbing and general merriment. Drummy seamlessly blends the abstract dialogue of the play with the party atmosphere.

Each of our good-looking twenty-something cast members is on the lookout for love, or at least - what they think is love. Bumping and grinding, alcohol and flirting. It all leads to sex, and as Drummy and his cast will have you believe, heartbreak.

Drummy cleverly breaks it up though. They've all got motives and it doesn't stay in the bar. With simple lighting tricks, Drummy takes us from the bar to the bathroom to a one-night stands apartment. The set is sparse, decorated with the players, as opposed to a bulky set.

The design is cool and vibrant. It's a place I want to go, I have been. The nameless actors are me. All of them. Their relationship is my relationship. It hit home, which was scary. Rarely does theater put me on the stage. I sit back as a third party observer, but Drummy tapped into my psyche - and based on the rest of the audience's reaction, their psyche too.

The cast is, with one exception, perfect. They were, after all, playing extended versions of themselves. Drummy on his directing process, "I told them to come from more of a place of what experiences they've had in love." Liza Dealey-Thomason is a stand out, capturing the voluptuous and wounded lover in such a way that I couldn't take my eyes off of her. According to director Drummy, she received a Kennedy nomination for her work. No one is more deserving. Drummy commended her on being uninhibited physically, which opened her up emotionally.

Overall its an absolutely phenomenal piece of theater. The best thing I've seen on the Chapman main stage. The choices by both director and cast were commendable and I wish I could watch it again. It's the type of play you could watch a hundred times and see something new each and every one. It's the type that changes depending on your mood, age and relationship status. It ends on a sour emotional note, suggesting we never learn, but if we watch this version enough, we just might.

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You: A Blog About Karaoke

2010-04-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love karaoke? Janove and I went to the Little Bar on Monday for Nora's birthday and I sang "Can't Take My Eyes Off You." It's a fun little diddy, and I'd like to think I sang it well (except for that time I came in early from the "instrumental break." I hate those things....)

Anyways, I looked around and found myself surrounded by two types of people. There were the ones that came to have a good time (have a couple drinks, slur a rendition of "I've Got Friends in Low Places") and then there are the regulars. They're the ones who come every week. They're the ones that have an ARSENAL of songs at their disposal. They know the DJ. They're good. Like really good. Like I'm a white guy crooning Beyonce's "Listen" good. But they're not having fun. No, no. They're singing to be DISCOVERED.

NEWS FLASH: Karaoke bars are full of drunk friends and tools like you. The Hollywood myth of being discovered by an off duty record producer who happens to stumble into a Karaoke bar...ISN'T TRUE. Who is the last singer out there that you can think of that comes from this type of a background? Oh right... NO ONE. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET DISCOVERED AT A KARAOKE BAR. So shut your trap, make fun of the drunken idiots and have a good time.

Don't get me wrong, you are still allowed to sing well. Sing well for your friends, sing well for your colleagues, for the strangers at the bar and for that cute guy or girl that you've had your eye on all night.

It's not a good place to be discovered professionally, but karaoke is a PERFECT place to be discovered by your next boyfriend or girlfriend. There you are, spotlit on the stage, singing an off key version of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King." Three minutes and twenty-three seconds of all eyes on you, including his/hers. Come on people, seize this opportunity. Smile, have fun, make eye contact. So much easier than meeting him/her at a regular bar.

Karaoke was MADE for getting all eyes on you. Just not those of a music producers.

Areas I Love: Melrose Avenue

2010-04-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

Time for Part II of "Areas I Love"!

You all have heard of the street, most of you probably have even watched the TV show at one point in your life. Recently, I've started to actually spend time on Melrose (in part because friends live close, in part because I need clothes and in part because it's awesome)

The part of Melrose I frequent lies between La Brea and Fairfax, and if you ignore the Ed Hardy- I really like most of the stores and restaurants. Melrose is the go-to street for wardrobe and fashion.

But as you'll see, the food isn't half bad either.

Here's a rundown of places on Melrose I enjoy:

Kazuyo Sushi

Nora and I first stumbled upon this when searching for a Sushi restaurant near us. It's incredible and kind of classy. The sushi is gigantic and delicious. Their popcorn lobster roll is to die for. I'd call it my favorite sushi place in all of L.A.

Urban Outfitters

Don't act surprised that this is on the list. I love myself some Urban. My closet can testify to that. This is the closest one to me, so naturally it enhances my opinion of the area. Not to mention that a few streets down is-

American Apparel

I don't think I need to say any more. I basically can get all of my shopping done on this stretch of Melrose.

American Vintage

In addition to Urban and AA, there is American Vintage which is hands down my favorite second hand store in the area. So many clothes. So many time periods. It's great for costuming, and even greater when I get to find stuff for myself.

This is where I found the giraffe costume that lead to a stellar Halloween. American Vintage is by no means the only vintage store on the block as well, so wander around. You'll find what you need.

Melgard

I just went here today, but can guarantee I'll be back. The beer variety is huge (not that I'm a huge drinker) and the outdoor patio is great. If this hasn't won you over already, happy hour will: Buy a beer (6 bucks) and get a free pizza. Yes. An entire pizza. Not just a slice. Make sure you do it on separate tabs though. It's one pizza per card.

8 0z

Another great place for beer, but even better for burgers. You can build your own burger and anything you could possibly want on it is available. Fried pickles? Not for me...but hey - you might like them. Get the garlic fries. Trust me.

The Girl in Alfred Hitchcock's Shower

2010-04-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

I started reading it and, for a while, couldn't put it down. I brought it into work and read it between phone calls. I will admit that I have a slight obsession with Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. It is by far my favorite movie. A complete masterpiece. I read what I can on it and this was a story that I didn't know. You don't know it either, which is reason enough to read this book.

Graysmith cleverly sets up chapters that bounce back and forth between Marli Renfo (Janet Leigh's nude body double) and Sonny (a killer, that we can only presume is Renfo's). He talks about Renfo on the set of Psycho, being sliced with the knife, only to then jump back to Sonny's story and compare him to Anthony Perkins's Norman. It's a smart way to capture an audience that would otherwise ignore this run of the mill true-crime novel.

After a huge set-up, and some fascinating scenes; after Marli's history with Playboy and nudie cuties, and repeating himself way too much, Graysmith finally delivers the twist. And then the book ends. No falling action, nothing. The twist. The end. I felt jilted, after all, it had been set up to be much more. Of course this Hitchcockian story would have a twist - but in all honesty - it would have been so much better as fiction. There were places I wanted this story to go, that it didn't because they just didn't happen. It could have been fascinating, but instead it fizzled out. Once we're off the set of Psycho, I stopped caring - but pushed through to see if the ending I imagined is the ending that occurred. It isn't.

Graysmith is caught between a nonfiction thriller and a biography of Renfo. The boring part of any biography, I think most will agree, is the garbage about where the subject is born and what life was like for their parents. I get it. Its shapes who they are, but this captures 0% of my interest, especially when you've disguised the book as a noir thriller.

He was smart to do one thing though, since he did feel the need to include it, at least he did it in the middle of the book. If he had jumped right out with her birth history I would have put this book down. I don't know who Marli Renfo is, and telling me where she's born does nothing to improve upon that. Smart to start with her naked in the shower. It's what the readers want, anyways.

Should you read it? It's an interesting enough story. Marli is a fascinating person, and despite Graysmith's tendency to repeat himself (a lot) there is some really interesting stuff (especially when it comes to Hitchcock's set).

Is it a story you could get somewhere else though? Better written and with the same good stuff? Probably. Do I regret reading it? No.

Product Placement: The Movie

2010-04-17T00:06:00.000-07:00

Two blog posts in one day? Aren't you lucky!

As previously mentioned, I went to see Derrick Borte's directorial debut with THE JONESES tonight. The film dares to ask the question: what if the family down the street that you're trying to keep up with isn't a family at all?

The Joneses; Matriarch, Demi Moore and newly added patriarch, David Duchovny are the heads of a family unit deployed to a small, upscale community to get their neighbors to want what they have. Companies sponsor them, and they in turn, for lack of a better word, pimp the product to their unsuspecting friends and neighbors. A gorgeous Amber Heard and Ben Hollingsworth (of the quickly canceled "The Beautiful Life") round out their family unit. Each member has their own problems, of course, with no real family members to turn to. As their lives unravel, connections form and their lie catches up to them, our ideal family has to determine whether it's worth it or not to live (and sell) the American dream.

The quality of the film isn't the greatest, but David Duchovny and Demi Moore's performances more than make up for that. Truth be told I had forgotten about both of them for some time and am glad to see them back on the scene (if it only be the limited release screen). Moore is the most developed character and brings a wonderful depth to her facade.

Next to Moore and Duchovny, Glenne Headly shines as Summer, a neurotic and broken spirited neighbor who finds herself victim of the American dream. She steals every scene she's in (yes, even the dramatic ones).

It's dark, timely and entertaining, but one can't help but feel that the ending was slapped on to appease the shmuck that goes to the movie for a happy ending. Borte clearly wanted to make a darker film than his studio allowed. The film succeeds, but it's interesting to image what could have happened if Borte would have gotten his way.

Keeping Up Appearances

2010-04-16T18:03:00.000-07:00

So much of what we do is looking like we do something. So much of work is looking like you're doing work. So much of success is looking successful. You can never play the game if you don't look the part.

Take, for example, the idea of assistants. How many of us are necessary? And how many of us are here simply to make our bosses look for official/powerful/higher on the food chain? Sometimes quite literally, we find ourselves shopping for our bosses outward appearance. Commenting on their outfits. Making them feel good about how they look (so they in turn, don't rip our heads off).

We're here, not because they can't answer the phone themselves (although, at this point many cannot because they're so used to us) but instead to make it look like they're so busy that they cannot pick up the phone.

What about your room? Is it clean? Why do you clean it? Sure there are sanitary reasons to. Sure it makes it easier to find things. but many of us can live in our messes. We don't, because it hurts our appearance. Invite someone over and you clean. Need to look the part, after all.

Speaking of looking the part, let's think about fashion. An industry dedicated to how we appear. Make-up. Plastic Surgery. Hair Salons. Boutiques. Designer Clothes.

So why do we do it?
Because if you don't appear like you care about yourself. No one else will either.
So clean that room. Buy those jeans. Hire that assistant.

Play the game.

So with that, I'm off to see THE JONESES (a movie, quite literally about keeping up appearances, keeping up with The Joneses.)

Rock for Equality

2010-04-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

After an exhausting night Saturday, I woke up bright and early (except it wasn't that bright, given our gloomy weather [it was early though: 845!]) and went to the Rock for Equality rally at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. But first - COFFEE!

Here's some pictures of the event:

(Mikey was there!)

(Barbara Boxer was there!)

Here's some facts:

-The federal government requires Americans in same-sex relationships to pay into Social Security like everybody else. These people are then denied key benefits that make up a crucial part of the safety net Americans rely on for their economic well-being in their latter years, or upon becoming disabled. In tough economic times, like those gripping the country today, these benefits are all the more critical.

-The Social Security Administration does not recognize any same-sex relationships, anywhere, including couples in states that afford same-sex couples the right to marry or the right to register as domestic partners.

-In some instances, the Social Security Administration affords certain advantageous benefits to divorced individuals that it does not provide to same-sex couples: even when the same-sex couples are married or registered as domestic partners.

-$ 2,046,872,071 is the current amount of money denied to same-sex couples and the number keeps growing.

Netflix!

2010-04-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

That's right. It gets an exclamation point. How has it taken me so long to jump on the Netflix train? I was perfectly content going to Blockbuster and roaming around for hours on end, deciding to rent GREY GARDENS, and then finding it's already rented and settling on THE NET.

But now, I have Netflix! (and consequently, GREY GARDENS sitting on my bedside table).

Queue: I have been judged because a short week after obtaining Netflix my queue already has over a hundred movies. But come on, how many times are you like "shit I need to see that movie," only to forget what it was a month later? Put it on the queue. It's less a list, in order, of movies I'm renting, and much more a to do list. Also, it gives me an opportunity to see all those movies that I should have seen by now, i.e) SUNSET BOULEVARD, FARGO & THE APARTMENT.

Instant Viewing: I'm never going to get anything done. Ever. Instant viewing is amazing. Not only do they have a multitude of movies I want to see at my fingertips, but there are also movies I didn't even know I wanted to see! Anytime I'm going to get something done on my computer, I'm actually just going to end up watching things like Woody Allen's WHATEVER WORKS (which actually wasn't that bad). Jeff and I were joking though, that the new "eh, wait until it's out on video" is "eh, wait until it's available on instant viewing." (This was in reference to HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, which is not only not good enough to see in theaters, but also bad enough to not be worth renting.)

Predictions: The more movies you rate and rent, the more predictions Netflix gives you. It's secretly getting inside my brain, knowing the movies I'll like before I do. I give Netflix a challenge because my movie renting pattern is ridiculous. SOPHIE'S CHOICE one day, JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH another. It doesn't even know what to do with itself. Sometimes It's spot on - I liked LARS AND THE REAL GIRL, and LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE, so I should like WAITRESS. But then other times it's smoking crack. I'm sorry Netflix, but it's true. Just because I loved PSYCHO (the original) does not mean I'll love THE STEPFORD WIVES. Those two do not belong in the same category and I'm offended you even thought so. It's okay though. I'll forgive you. Because you're amazing.

Anonymity: Another nice thing about Netflix is that it allows you to rent shitty movies and not be judged. I know, I shouldn't worry about such things. But how do you seriously walk up to the movie aficionado with ALL ABOUT STEVE in your hands? Don't worry, it's on the queue.

Waking Sleeping Beauty

2010-03-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

I went and saw Waking Sleeping Beauty this weekend. It's a limited release documentary about how Disney went from making scary movies (both in tone and in box-office returns) in the early 80's to making some of the most successful animated movies of all time.

The documentary itself was probably not the best made. It focused on the battle of egos between Jeffrey Katzenberg, Roy Disney and Michael Eisner. It followed their rise, and each of their falls. While interesting, it wasn't what I, or anyone in the audience, went to see.

We went to see Howard Ashman (the musical genius who quite possibly saved Disney animated films) singing "Part of Your World." We went to see how they balanced working on multiple animated movies at once. We went to see the behind the scenes lives of the animators, not the behind the scenes lives of the CEOs. They're not the ones who meticulously drew by hand the countless drawings that would later end up thrown away. The parts about the animators are great. The parts about the executives, dull.

The footage is of poor quality (it seemed to be shot on a home video camera from the 80's) and out of focus, which makes it difficult to focus on the story itself. Better than the grainy VHS footage are the clips from the animated movies that we love, and the caricatures that the animators were constantly drawing to express what was going on in the company.

There were lots of moments where the audience (which was bigger than expected) laughed out loud. The timing of the editing is great, and the animators are all very funny people. I think if you worked in Disney animation, you'd have to be. The hours were terrible, the conditions were worse. I have nothing but respect for those who created the movies that defined my childhood.

Would I recommend the documentary? Sure. Netflix it when it comes out. It won't get wider than it is right now. It's enjoyable and it reminds you why you love the animated movies you love.

On second thought, maybe you should just rent Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and the Lion King instead, because undoubtedly, after hearing just glimpses of those catchy tunes, you'll wish you were just watching those.

From the Stadium to the Sea

2010-03-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

No I didn't run the LA Marathon (for those of you that don't know "From the Stadium to the Sea" was the theme of this year's marathon). But the theme seemed to fit my weekend, as it started in Downtown, moved to the Pier, and ended back around Hollywood. Everything those marathon runners saw, I saw, and I had the added luxury of four wheels and air conditioning.

Saturday morning started with a trip to FIDM with Lesley to see the Oscar nominated costume display. Some were breath taking, some were amazing, some made us a squeal, and some were from Aliens in the Attic.

Lesley and I were like kids in a candy store with the costumes from An Education, Where the Wild Things Are ("Do you know how many hipsters would kill to steal that outfit?"), A Single Man ("They have the furry sweater!"), Inglourious Basterds ("Inglourious Basterds!"), and Julie and Julia ("Meryl wore that!").

This picture was from the exhibit several years ago, but since it's Helen Mirren, and she plays an intricate part in this blog post, I'll allow.

After playing over on Vermont for a bit, Lesley and I went to Santa Monica. She had never been on the pier, so we hit that up first. Kettle Corn! Cotton Candy! Rides! It's like a carnival, but better, because it's on water. Lesley and I joked about the pier being destroyed by a giant wave (as in a Roland Emmerich movie) and low and behold, go kicked off the beach. Not because of our off color jokes, but because a suspicious package was found on the pier. Cops were everywhere. We were instructed to go past the lifeguard tower. Dear lifeguard, if the pier was to explode in a gigantic terrorist attack, I highly doubt being on the OTHER side of your lifeguard tower would make the slightest difference in my chances of survival.

So we went to a British foods store. A logical move right? It is when you're with Palf.

Palf and I parted ways and I was joined by Kristen, Julie and Jeff. A bottle of wine and batch of margaritas later, we hopped into a cab for Bar Lubitsch. After my rave review of it, they had been wanting to try it. We got in and it was PACKED. Have no fear though, we found ourselves a nice pocket of space and proceeded to hang out and drink through the night. Kristen, Julie and nights out (or in!) are a perfect storm. Doesn't matter where we are, doesn't matter that someone in the bar had B.O. (okay, it a little bit did), we have a good time. Saturday was no exception.

We stumbled down Santa Monica to Jones for a post-drinking pizza with Banner. We scarfed a pizza of our own and downed half of Rebecca's. Success? I think so.

Sunday was just as successful, if not COMPLETELY different. Megan came to visit!

Megan, my oldest friend (as in, since 2nd grade, not age 102), is the assistant to journalist Annie Bardach, who is quite possibly THE go-to journalist on all things Cuba. Annie is a member of the Moron Society (a group of free-thinking, intelligent people [journalists, writers, directors, actors, politicians]) who get together to elect morons in society and discuss current events.

On Sunday, there was a Moron Society meeting at Helen Mirren and Taylor Hackford's house. They live around the corner from me! Their neighbor is none other than Roland Emmerich, of aforementioned pier discussion.

Megan and I were honorary Moronettes and handled parking at the Hackford/Mirren estate. Afterwards we were invited to listen in on the meeting, which was incredible. These people are such intelligent speakers.

Mirren, or as Hackford calls her, Helly, was a sweetheart. So nice. She gave me a stack of ham, a bottle of wine and a cheery pie because "I could afford such a thing."

I feel like I should have more to say about this event, but I guess it's all just sinking in. They're wonderful people and it was exciting to be a part of it. Will anything come of it professionally? Probably not - but you never know!

The Muchness of Alice in Wonderland

2010-03-20T10:46:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm about three weeks late, but I just saw Tim Burton's much talked about Alice in Wonderland. I've read all the reviews and heard all the complaints from my friends. Alice has lost her muchness, they all say, faithfully echoing Johnny Depp's hatter.

But has she?

Tim Burton has yet again created a fantastical world with extraordinary characters. Lewis Carol may have very well been writing specifically for Burton's over active imagination. The sets and costumes, as in every Burton film, are the stand out here. From Alice's changing dress to the details of the heads bobbing in the Red Queen's castle moat, everything from a design point is just right.

Well, almost. I'll tell you, in this movie may have had too much muchness. In 3-D, while breathtaking, the constant camera movements, moving scenery and changing focus make it hard to focus on anything. The flowers sway as the camera swoops through them, sometimes they're our focus, but at other times it's Alice and while the flowers are in my face, it is Alice who we should be watching. I think 3-D actually hindered this film, more than helped it. There was too much to look at, and I wished I could have taken a step back to see it all (granted I was sitting in the second row, but I can't imagine it was much different anywhere else in the theater.) 3-D takes you into the world, but what about the films in which you want to sit back and examine it? 3-D was too much.

Also joining in the category of "too muchness," was the addition of names to the characters. Why can't the Red Queen simply be known as the Red Queen? Why did we need to call her the Red Queen AND Bellizabeth (or whatever the hell it was, I never fully caught it.)?

I rather liked the new story line, as this was more of a sequel than a faithful retelling. Alice in Wonderland isn't much a story at all. Alice follows a rabbit down a rabbit hole and playfully goes from one strange character to the next. This version had a plot. Imagine that! Where the central question of Alice in Wonderland (as written) is up for interpretation, this version asks the question: Will Alice fill her destiny? It is interesting, as those who have seen it can attest to, that the issue of destiny comes up both in London, and in Wonderland. After all, she was destined to marry what's-his-face-snaggle-tooth, just as she was destined to slay the jabberwocky and ruin the Red queen's reign on Wonderland. The plot unified the characters, and gave a reason for their existence and involvement in Alice's Wonderland.

One of my favorite characters, the Cheshire Cat, did not disappoint (and partly, I think, that's because he was a slow moving character. The camera stopped moving when we were with him and I was able to focus on his stunning grin.)

The insane March Hare is also a stand out, with the stand out human performance being Helena Bonham Carter's Queen. She's fiendish, likable, humorous and a bitch. She's everything you'd want the Red Queen to be.

Overall, I've got to say that I liked it. The more time I spend away from it, the more I feel that way. Next time I see it, however, it will not be in 3-D. It's too much.

Areas I Love: Vermont Avenue

2010-03-19T11:14:00.000-07:00

This is a new thing I want to start doing, in addition to my regular blogging/ramblings. Picking a place I like in LA and talking about it.

Vermont Avenue in Los Feliz (which I have been informed, I do not pronounce properly). I first stumbled upon Vermont while back at Chapman. I was thrifting for a movie and stumbled upon a little place called Squaresville in the uber hip neighborhood in Los Feliz.

After being introduced to Squaresville I vowed to make this little neighborhood, full of shops and big trees, book stores and bars my home. When I first started looking at apartments in LA, this is where I went. Ultimately, I didn't end up over here - but I've been visiting it more and fall in love with it every time.

It's everything you could one on one street. It's alive, but not over crowded, every night. The people that hang out on Vermont are the type of people that you look at and think "I could be friends with you."

There are so many restaurants on this street and I've only been to handful. It's a street that you walk down and want to try it all. One day, I might.

Here's a rundown of a few places on Vermont I enjoy:

Squaresville

Squareseville is a little vintage thrift store that is packed from wall to wall with some of the coolest clothes ever to grace the last decade. I would make it my closet if I could.

Los Feliz 3

A little movie theater that shows indie movies that don't usually make it to the big ones, as well as a studio movie or two. I saw Crazy Heart here, and it's charming. Charming, I think, is the word I'd use to describe the entire area.

The Dresden Room

I went to this bar with Nora and it's exactly the type of place you'd imagine your grandparents drinking in. It's classy and old fashioned with super nice elderly bar tenders who treat you right. Live music every night makes it a relaxing place to chill.

Fred 62's

A little diner with the coolest seats around. The booths are like seats out of 50's cars. It's menu is a little scatterbrained. For you Orange County kids, it's like Norm's but not a chain. The burger was amazing and huge (and that's that I ordered The Wimpy Burger [I kid you not, that's what its called!]).

Pattaya Bay Thai

I went here with Jeff and we keep going back. It's a hole in the wall Thai restaurant but it's SO good. The decor is kind of nautical, with fish tank portals on the walls. Reader Beware, if you walk into Pattaya Thai on a night they're doing karaoke TURN AROUND. It's terrible.

Rice A Roni

2010-03-15T10:40:00.001-07:00

To truly appreciate Hollywood, sometimes you need to leave it. You need to see what other cities have to offer. As much as I love it here, it doesn't have everything you could want. Know what city comes close though? San Francisco.

Sure, part of that is because it houses the best friend (but not for long. [You hear that, Lauren? You're coming back down to LA. This trip has reminded me that life sans Lauren is NOT okay])

After bailing on work at lunch, Adam, Jeff and I drove up to the city on Friday. We were making great time until-

They decided to close down The 5. Excuse me? Closing The 5 Freeway on a Friday night? It took us an hour to go three miles to get to the detour. Then we got to drive through beautiful Coalinga*

After a plethora of tunes, some sub-par Baja Fresh and 7+ hours, we got into the city. San Francisco is amazing. They manage to fit so much in such a small amount of space. Everything "goes up to the sky and twists." Buildings, billboards and overpasses reach for the stars in a tall and wind-y city that's anything but sleepy.

Friday night:
We met up with Ryan and drank our driving frustrations away. There was drinking. There was dancing. There was Alan.

Whose Alan? In 7th grade I took tennis lessons. Go ahead and laugh. The classes were small and I had a friend Alan who I had lost contact with once I got older. Some 9 years later, in a city of over 700,000, I run into him. Crazy. Even crazier was that it was in a drunken stupor and he recognized me. Sad that I look the same as I did in 7th grade? This blog is getting depressing. Anyways- The night ended with us getting flashed by a woman, who it turns out, was a man.
That brings us to-

Saturday morning:
Brunch at Home. Jeff and I drank coffee, Adam and Ryan drank 2 Bloody Mary's each. I think you can tell who the smarter ones were (okay it was them, but shh!) After brunch we wandered around. Book stores, Art stores, Art supply stores, happiness.

Saturday Afternoon:
On our way to meet up with Lauren we stopped and checked out some performance art going on near the civic center. Interpretive dance, accompanied by music and plenty of chalk for sidewalk drawing. We were encouraged to draw and we did. For a while.

We found Lauren in the mess of the St. Patrick's Day Festival. She had successfully found herself a corned beef sandwich and was hell bent on finding green beer. We didn't.

We did find an Urban Outfitters and proceeded to play around in there. I got a sweet plaid shirt. Lauren got some boots. Jeff got a plaid shirt as well.

Saturday Night:
We rocked the plaid. We set out to eat a restaurant called Range that looked pretty good. We got there and decided we couldn't afford that menu, so we wandered the streets looking for something that looks good. This is how food eating decisions should always be made. We ended up in front of Cafe Ethiopia and, since none of us had eaten Ethiopian before, decided to try it.
We ordered a variety off the menu (none of which we could properly pronounce) as well as Ethiopian wine and beer. The Verdict? The food was spicy and good. The alcohol was sweet and bad. It was definitely an experience (we ate with our hands off of one giant plate) that I, not only would do again, but also recommend others to try (There are a handful of Ethiopian places in LA, lets go!).

We then ended up at an Irish pub (it being St. Patty's day weekend and all) and then to a house party with Ryan. Try to walk by houses in San Fran and not sing the Full House theme song. I dare you.

The party was a lot of fun, complete with new lesbian friends, dancing, mud, drinking, more dancing, and even more drinking. What a friendly bunch. We need to have more parties in houses and apartment in LA, guys.

Sunday Morning:
Well, more like-

Sunday Afternoon:
We got up and headed over to Pleasanton, CA a peaceful suburb of the bay and home to Lauren Emily Johnson. Downtown Pleasanton is exactly how you'd imagine it to be upon hearing the name. Diners, art shops, small town essentials and Thriving Ink.

Thriving Ink is an indie T-shirt company and the store in which most of my shirts are now from. It's Urban Outfitters, but indie. I know what you're thinking - Urban is as "indie" as they come. A chain of mainstream stores, while fashionable, is not indie. Kudos, Thriving Ink and may you be successful enough to no longer be indie.

A quick 5 hour jaunt down The 5 Freeway and we made it home. Simultaneously relaxed and exhausted from our trip to the foggy city.

It did something interesting, though. It makes me excited to explore LA more. I will love this city and everything it has to offer. I will find everything it has to offer and I will let it be offered to me. Los Angeles, it's just you and me (and nearly 4 million others).

*Coalinga is NOT a beautiful city.

Little Red Lies

2010-03-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I lie.

Even that's a lie. I lie a lot.

-"Kevin would love to talk to you. I'll have him return."
-"No, we're not casting for that project right now."
-"Yes, I scheduled that lunch/meeting/conference call."
-"My boss is looking to set up drinks for all the up and comers from Focus Features, RKO, TLC... We'll need a booth."

Okay, so the last one wasn't me, but I certainly was apart of it. Rebecca Banner, to secure a table for her 22nd birthday at Bar Lubitsch, lied. Not a big lie, just a little one. I mean, to be fair, we work or intern at those companies. We just made it sound like the order came from a slightly higher power than our own. It did no one any harm, and we got a sweet booth to celebrate Banner's birthday (not like she remembers it, anyway).

Bar Lubitsch was an amazing venue for her birthday. Tucked away on Santa Monica Blvd, the bar looks normal on the outside.

Inside is like stepping into Nazi Germany. I know, I know - it's a Russian bar, but damn it all, the swastika on the wall made out of sexy can-can legs begged to differ. The bar was int he front, the dance floor in the back. The clientele was too cool to care, so I didn't either. It was fun. The color red was dominant and the stench of vodka, pungent.

Speaking of vodka, the vodka selection here is extensive! If you can name it, there's a vodka here infused with it. Chai infused vodka was a popular choice that night. As was vanilla. I'm not normally a vodka drinker (I had an...."issue" with it in high school) but I decided it'd be wrong to order anything else. I turned to their specialty drinks and picked one at random.

The Ninotchka
-Vanilla Vodka
-Liquid Sugar
-Muddled Strawberries
-Champagne

It was incredible. It won't make a regular vodka drinker out of me, but if you're ever hankering for a crazy atmosphere and a decent vodka cocktail, go! It's a good time.

And that's not a lie.

Philanthropic: A Word I Can't Say

2010-03-01T17:42:00.000-08:00

Not because it's bad. It's not a cuss word, don't worry. I just literally cannot pronounce it. I was trying all week to tell people that I was going to a fi-lən-ˈthrä-pik event, and I couldn't get the word out of my mouth.

That point aside - this weekend was the second Philanthro Production I attended. They are, as Mikey put it, events that make you "feel like you live in LA."

The First: Over the summer Nora, Justin and I went to SAVOR THE SUMMER, in which all proceeds benefited cystic fibrosis. It was a white party and Nora and I looked good. By the end of the night I looked terrible. fruit, chocolate, tacos and tequila stained my white ensemble. Worth it. This event was a blast. Free tequila before ten meant that when we got there at 9:30 we each downed way too many shots. I don't know if you know this about me- but three tequila shots is too many. Drunk Marcus loves tacos and so did the front of my outfit. Pretty people, loud music, food, and flowing booze. It was the type of event that makes you feel "so LA." I disappeared into the bathroom and came out to find all of my friends had already cabbed home. I walked.

The Second: Philanthro Productions threw another soiree this past weekend, ASPIRE. This party benefited homelessness. We joked that for every martini we drank, we were keeping a martini out of the hands of the homeless in an effort to get their lives back on track. But we paid our entrance fee and entered a room too small for the amount of people this event brought. That's great. the draw tot his event (not that events like these need a draw, everyone in LA wants to appear like they care about things other than themselves) was that it had food from some of the best restaurants in Venice. We pigged out on cupcakes and meatballs and steak and pasta and salad. And then we felt bad, given that the homeless are probably hungry. So we bought drinks (91% of our drink price goes to the charity).

All in all, they're great events. They're fun and you're going to spend that much on a night out anyways, might as well have it go to a good cause.

Now onto another point: Charity is a funny thing. It makes you feel good about yourself, but is that why you do it? It shouldn't be right? But it kind of is. Not that that's necessarily bad, just kind of interesting. People love causes. Look at Haiti, people have come out of the woodwork to support the 3rd world country rebuild after the devastating quake, but no one seemed to care that it was third world to begin with. Why does it take a huge event to make us notice those less fortunate? Why does it take someone getting cancer, to make someone an advocate for cancer research (which I am, by the way). Why are celebrities who donate to Haiti after a quake hailed heroes, but those who donate regularly ignored? It's all apart of image, I suppose. The more public the tragedy or the cause, the more publicity the philanthropic gesture gets.

We should start publicizing charities like mad, maybe they'll get more public donations.

I may be poor, I may be black, I may be ugly, but dammit- I'm here.

2010-02-21T10:48:00.000-08:00

If you ever want to trap yourself in a long conversation that you can't get out of, ask me about me about The Color Purple.

After reading it Freshman year in college, it quickly became my favorite book. Since then, I read it every year (whenever I can get the book back in my possession - it being my favorite, I loan it out a lot to share the experience).

So of course, I've seen the movie and of course I wanted to see the musical. The moment the banners were hung outside the Pantages on Hollywood and Vine, I knew I'd be forking over the money (33 bucks! Not even that bad) to see how the book translated to the stage.

So real quick, for those of you that don't know the story - The Color Purple is the story of Celie, a poor illiterate black woman who was twice impregnated by her father, and sold off to another black man to care for his children. After completely abandoning her faith in God, Celie finds strength in the women around her to accept her role in life. Deep shit, right?

Not in this musical. That caught me off guard. The material is treated almost like a comedy and it was jarring. I had so many tonal expectations for the piece, thinking I was about to watch the African-American equivalent to a Les Mis, or a Phantom. I was anticipating dark and moody- instead, I got a lively & Gospel-y musical. It threw me completely off. It wasn't the Color Purple that I knew, loved and expected.

The first black woman to come into Celie's life is Sophia (we saw the actress who originated the role on Broadway-got a Tony nomination) and from the moment she marches on the stage she's a comedic role. She was an excellent comedic actress, but again, not what I expected.

The next woman is the sexual Shug Avery. Holy hell, this woman was my absolute favorite. The more I think about the musical, the more I love this actress/this character/this part. My favorite from the book, Shug is to sex what Sophia is to brute strength. Shug is also the one who opens Celie's eyes to what God really is.

"I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."

With Shug Avery, the musical got right, what the movie got wrong. It kept the lesbian undertones. It's a tough sell. It was abandoned in the movie (and noticeably so). Celie has been abused by men, so naturally she opts to stay away from them. To keep herself closed off. She meets Shug, the epitome of sex (something she doesn't know) and immediately falls for her. It's part of her journey in accepting herself.

And the play hit it spot on. Their relationship is raw, and difficult. When Shug leaves (spoiler!) it hurts.

Fantasia shone as Celie. She completely embodied the role (and quite physically) and where I normally can't stand her voice (blasphemous? maybe) it worked perfectly for the down trodden character of Celie. And she can act! Boy, can she act. Her "I'm Here" is powerful. She absolutely brings down the house in act two. Brings it down, then builds it right back up again.

I abandoned my tonal expectations in act two and saw the musical for what it was. A celebration. A celebration of life and being here. It acknowledged the bad - but you can't live in it. It really made me take another look at the entire adaptation process and I can say this much: They got it right. It's not the book, but it shouldn't be. I know that now. It's hard because I'm so close to the book, but the themes came across and that's what's important.

If the book has my heart, this musical has my soul.

"I may be poor, I may be black, I may be ugly, but dammit- I'm here."

I'm none of those. (Okay- I'm one of those, maybe 2) But no matter who you are, there is always a time where you see nothing but your faults. You see nothing but the bad. When this happens, as The Color Purple reminds us, you've got to just accept yourself and remember that you're here.

And I am.

SBIFF: Booze and Waiting for Forever-Day Two Recap

2010-02-15T17:12:00.000-08:00

BOOZE

We got up Sunday afternoon with these intentions: Mimosa Brunch, CRAZY HEART (with Jeff Bridges Q&A) and MIDDLE MEN.

We soon realized that we weren't going to make it to both movies, due to an overlapping time situation, so we let go of MIDDLE MEN, opting instead to try and hit CRAZY HEART. But, a late start and too good a time at Sharkeez resulted in us missing our movie.

We were too late for brunch, so we got lunch- and while we did have solid food, I would be amiss to not call this lunch "liquid."

A margarita, fajita and several sips of these shared bucket drinks later and I am shitty. I wasn't alone in this though. We had such a good time (the ten of us that ended up at lunch) sitting around talking and drinking and eating that we gladly missed the time to get in line for CRAZY HEART. We had a back up option: WAITING FOR FOREVER.

WAITING FOR FOREVER didn't start for another couple of hours after lunch, so Sarah and Denny and I wandered State Street. We ended up in Sephora, where Sarah needed to buy make-up and Denny and I drunkenly tried on all of the colognes. We smelt terrible.

WAITING FOR FOREVER

We got into WAITING FOR FOREVER and aside from knowing it was a romantic dramedy, we knew nothing else.

WAITING FOR FOREVER is the story of a juggler who follows his childhood love around as she moves from city to city.

"Being in a place where I know I might see you is better than knowing I'll never see you."

When the time comes for him to tell her how he feels, a multitude of obstacles pop up for him to overcome.

I loved it.

Sure it had some cliche dramedy moments (dying parents, unrequited love, quirky character traits) but it was such a solid story with such great, defined characters that it didn't matter. Tom Sturridge is a phenomenal actor - look for him to explode onto the scene. His subtlety is spot on, his charm is infectious. He perfectly embodies the lovesick nomad of Will Donner.

Bilson is loveable enough, although clearly the weakest player in the film. Richard Jenkins and Blythe Danner capture any scene they're in. As Bilson's parents - I found myself wishing for more of them. Their storyline comes to an abrupt end and frankly, I wanted more.

One thing noticeably great about this film was the cinematography. It was a gorgeous film to look at. Denny and I both noticed it. The lighting and framing is beautiful.

All in all, this is, as another festivaler put it, a cute movie. They don't make simple cute movies like this anymore. Worth seeing it - assuming it gets distribution. None of these stars are big enough to carry this movie into theaters. Is the charming character and cute story enough to give a distributor the confidence to release it? I hope so. It was the best of the three films I saw at the festival.

SBIFF: Chloe and 8 - Day One Recap

2010-02-13T23:52:00.000-08:00

CHLOE

The first movie we (Denny, Sarah and I) saw was CHLOE, starring Julianne Moore, Liam Neeson, and Amanda Seyfried as Chloe. Getting in was hectic, we had a great spot in line, but when we got in it was already near full. We saw the movie from the third row - it just made it that much more gnar.

CHLOE is a sexual thriller. Think FATAL ATTRACTION - but hotter, so much hotter. Amanda Seyfried stars as a high class call girl whose yet to make a human connection. Julianne Moore plays a wife who suspects her distant husband is cheating on her and hires Chloe to find out. Chloe reports back to Moore, unexpectedly causing Moore to feel closer to her husband. Scared by the closeness, Moore tries to end things with terrifying results.

Well- that's what the movie would like you to believe. It is good, don't get me wrong - but leaves very little to the imagination (both sexually and in plot).

Subtlety is dead in CHLOE, hitting the audience in the face with clues (a.k.a. close-ups that the filmmakers are afraid you'd miss otherwise). Beats happen quickly, speeding through moments that should be slower, moments that need more tension, more build up, and more exploration.

Moments could have been pulled from a porn, just a warning.

The consensus among us was that we wanted to see certain moments explored more.

It's intense though, and the ending is wonderfully satisfying. Moore is gorgeous, and Seyfried has yet another versatile role. She's electrifying and proves, yet again, that she can act. Both have great dramatic moments, but I wanted more!

Should you go? Yeah. Worth seeing.

8: THE MORMON PROPOSITION

A documentary about Mormon involvement in the passing of Proposition 8. It was introduced by husbands who snuck in before prop 8 passed. Lucky them.

I went in thinking I wouldn't learn anything I didn't know. I went in thinking that it would recap everything I knew, but be great for those who are less informed about the current civil rights issue.

I was wrong. This movie went deep- tapped into a ton of shit I didn't know. It's wonderfully informative (skewed, of course - but every point made if valid.) I don't want to reveal anything, because I want you all to see it (the film got distribution) but I'll give you this fact: 22 million dollars came from the Mormons. Mostly from Utah (to pass a California Prop).

8 isn't the best made documentary- don't get me wrong, but everyone should see it to understand how the fuck prop 8 passed.

See it for the facts. Remember it for the emotion. It's strength is in the quality of information presented, and the connection it forces you to have with the victims of Prop. 8.

At the end of my day, the better film. I'm a little bit passionate about this issue, so a blog about that will come soon.

Happy Festivaling! More tomorrow...

SBIFF: The Line-Up

2010-02-12T12:30:00.001-08:00

Heading up to the Santa Barbara International Film Festival this weekend and I'm super stoked.

Here's our line-up:

(Please note the tagline!)

(With a Q & A with Bridges afterward)

(The Closing Night Film, complete with after party)

Aside from these there will be some much needed sleeping, eating, drinking, & socializing. Maybe even a hike or two.

Complete report upon my return. Happy Festivaling!

Old Hollywood Called, I Answered

2010-02-08T13:19:00.000-08:00

As you all know by now [and if you don't, you stumbled upon my blog in a drunken google search and have found yourself to be a loyal reader ever since, and I thank you] I have been working at RKO Pictures for about a month now. My official title is "executive assistant" which is fancy talk for office bitch.

I can't talk about much because I'm bound and gagged by a confidentiality agreement, and anything else I say of a negative nature could result in the loss of my job. So I'll spare you the frustrations, and talk of long hours. I won't talk about the employee who I want to punch in the face. I'll leave out the tid bit about how another assistant should have been hired by now and hasn't. About how I'm working really fucking hard. I'll forget to mention that assistant is also sounding board for yells.

Instead opting to tell you, I love my job. There's lots of times where it may seem like I don't. Like I can't wait to get out, move on. But at the end of the day, I'm doing something that millions can only dream of: I'm getting paid to make movies.

Sure, I only do very minuscule tasks. Sure I'm not in the credits (yet, baby) but my job, at it's very core - is essential to the final product. Believe me, if they didn't need me, I wouldn't be working here. So there you have it- any time you hear me complain. Any time I get home at 9pm after an eleven hour work day - hand me that friendly reminder. It's all I need.

RKO is doing some pretty exciting things right now, like a movie starring ******* ********* about ***** and another, a romantic comedy called *** *** **** ** *****, starring **** *****.

Sorry, that's the confidentiality agreement talking. But trust me, it's not all bad. I know what you're thinking, RKO hasn't made a movie since.... Citizen Kane, It's A Wonderful Life, King Kong (the original! [RKO sold the rights to King Kong to Universal. We didn't play a part in the remake]).

Well we're back. Ready for our second renaissance. Ready to churn out some new classics.

Everyday I'm greeted by two Oscars and a Citizen Kane "Rosebud" Sled. And while I hated the movie, I've got have respect for what it's done. It's kept us around, and it's brought me on board.

So you're wondering what I do? I assist. Plain and simple.

Coffee. Printing. Copies. Staplers. Cleaning. Packing. Organizing. Phone Calls. Emails. Meeting Scheduling. Reading. Watching. Commenting.

Any script in consideration has to go through me first. I'm the second filter (the interns are the first) which is actually pretty cool. Think of the power. Every movie you see, an assistant read that script. Liked it. Passed it on.

I'm in love with storytelling, so that's the best part of my job. It's what makes the yelling worth it.

That and the paycheck.

So thanks RKO, for walking me into the "real world." In due time, I'll walk away. I'll grow older and end up in a dream job.

But I'll owe it to you.

You hear me dream job? You hear me Focus? Paramount Vantage? HBO? Showtime? I'm coming after you next.

Chicken Soup

2010-02-07T19:24:00.000-08:00

Being sick sucks. Being sick 3 times in 2 months sucks more.

But alas, where would I be without the familiar cherry scent of Robitussin or the chalky taste of Sudafed. What would my diet be without chicken soup, hot tea, and smoothies? The soundtrack of my life seems inexplicably empty without the deep throaty coughs that come from my toes.

But there are some things that, no matter how much having a cold sucks, can make it better:

1) Homemade soup. Bonus points if someone comes over and makes it for you.

2) 12+ hours of sleep. Bonus points if it's without waking once.

3) A warm blanket. To help facilitate that 12+ coma.

4) A personal pharmacy. Check my medicine cabinet, if you need it - I have it.

5) Friends. Subject them to your cold! Have them drag you out and force you to have a good

time. The cold will go away, bonus points if the friends don't.

6) Old movies and new movies. Watch a favorite, or rent a new one. Pull yourself out of your world and enter another world for 2ish hours. Its why movies are made.

7) A hot shower or bath. Bonus points if it's a jacuzzi [I need a friend with a jacuzzi.] Hot water does a body great.

8) Getting dressed. Sitting around in pajamas will NOT make you get better any quicker.

Put all 8 in a blender, add vitamin C, and poof! The cure for the common cold.

The Forgotten starring Julianne Moore

2010-02-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

It happens every year. Someone is snubbed.

This is more than that.

Julianne Moore is one of the greatest actresses ever. Period. Nominated 4 time. 0 wins.

Sure, she has some minor issue choosing projects (Blindness, The Forgotten, Next)
or ends up in great projects that no one sees (Savage Grace, Far From Heaven) but-
Try and deny that she didn't stand her own in Jodie Foster's shadow in Hannibal.
Try and tell me you weren't captivated by her and Clive Owen's relationship in Children of Men. Try and argue that she didn't steal every scene she was in with Colin Firth.

As Charley, the alcoholic ex-lover to Colin Firth's single gay man - Julianne Moore triumphed. She was a mess. An absolute mess of a person, with more depth than ever hit the screen. She knew Charley. No one else could have played that role. Julianne Moore stepped into Charley's mod, sophisticated, lush of a life and never stepped away.

So where, please tell, is her nomination?

Take it away from Anna Kendrick and give it to someone who deserves it.

(In other Moore news, I'm going to see her in Chloe at the SBIFF - so stoked, and am eagerly anticipating her brilliance in the newly acquired The Kids Are Alright, opposite Annette Bening)

Ways To Stay Fit in LA

2010-02-01T17:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Mikey and I went to the batting cages in some ghetto part of LA. Nothing gets the aggression I have at my bosses out like hitting something really hard. Much to my surprise- I didn't suck. Soon each ball that came flying at me (please, keep the joke to yourself) went screaming back into the net.

Or bouncing.

Or hit the wall behind me.

But that's besides the point. When the bat and ball connected, suddenly my anger at my boss* all but disappeared.

This morning, however, it all came rushing back. In the form of pain. I am so sore, its unbelievable. So here it is- I'm going to try and get in [better] shape. I'm fat by no means, but that doesn't mean I'm fit. I want to be. So I'm compiling myself, and by default YOU a list of:

WAYS TO STAY FIT IN LA

1) Run. Walk. Jog.

You can't possibly drive down Santa Monica Boulevard in the morning without seeing a wave of runners. Every morning, afternoon, night, you name it - someone is running in LA. With so little in the name of athletic activities in the area, it is the easiest way to get in shape. Throw on your iPod and go. Run places. There's so much to do in LA, and lets be real - no one is going to care if you're gross and sweaty, because honestly, the bum behind you is grosser and sweatier.

I've tried this one. The jogging/running part isn't so much for me. But I do enjoy a walk. I'll take myself over to the La Brea Tar Pits, or down Hollywood Blvd., or to a friend's house. It takes longer- but I've got some good tunes and some great visuals. Doesn't hurt the legs so much either.

2) Bowl.

Go ahead and laugh. It can't hurt though, right?

3) Batting Cages.

The fact that I'm sore is testimony to the fact that this counts as athletic activity. Either that, or it's testimony to the fact that I don't know how to properly swing a bat. Regardless, it was a great way to spend an afternoon and it got out some of my aggression and frustration. It's not going to make my arms huge, but lets be real the only thing that will do that is steroids.

Luckily, its LA and I know just where to get them.

4) Swim.

My favorite when it's not freezing, and luckily, my apartment complex has a pool. I can stay in the pool for hours and it's a great place to think. If your apartment complex doesn't have a pool and you can't steal a friends. Santa Monica is a short drive away and there's an entire ocean to swim in. It's not at as convenient, but it's a chance to do some physical activity (hey! physical activity... there's another type that's not on this list, but for reputation's sake I'll keep it off the list. You know what I'm talking about though.) and get to the beach. Two in one!

5) Hike.

Runyon Canyon. Griffith Park. Done and done. Believe it or not, there is nature in LA, and with that nature comes some great places to hike with great views of the smog. Matt and I have gone up to Runyon a few times and it's really great. My legs scream at me by the end of it, but it's worth it. The views actually are good, and hikers are some of the nicest people you'll meet in LA.

6) Dance.

This usually happens for me when I'm intoxicated which doesn't help me physically. Maybe I'll try doing it sober. It's fun though, and again - couldn't hurt.

5) Tennis.

Mikey has a court next to his house. He and I are going to start playing. This activity only works if you have a friend. Make friends in LA and THEN use tennis as a means of staying fit.

6) Work On a Film Set.

This one is for LA kids! Film sets are hard work. Running around, constantly. Physical activity. If you work on a film set, you will be in better shape by the end of it. Unless you spend all your down time next to craft services.

7) Join a Gym.

Don't do it if you're going to compare yourself to everyone there. Unless you already have an incredible body - you WILL feel insecure walking into any gym in LA. LA is full of actors and models, all of whom won't get on TV unless they're a size 0. It's the best option, and also the most expensive. An expense I can't afford right now. One fateful day I may become a gym rat.

But don't count on it.

Mark my words though - physically fit Marcus begins yesterday.

*Blog Post on my job soon. I promise.

D-I-N-O-S-A-U (You)-R (Are) a Dinosaur.

2010-01-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and saw a grown man staring back. Before you begin to make the jokes about how I can't possibly be a grown man at the whopping height of 5'3'' : hear me out.

Yesterday, I was handed a packet at work. Health insurance. Dental insurance. Vision insurance. Life insurance. That's right: Benefits.

Gone are the days of hourly wages and living off tips.

Life insurance? That's something for old people.

When, do tell, did this happen? One day I'm drunkenly running through the street of Orange in my underwear, the next - I'm covered. Quite literally.

These are things that you think grown-ups have, and I hadn't yet thought of myself as a grown up. Sure, you have dinner parties with friends, you drink wine, you have great conversation and at the end of the night you think "God, I felt so grown up."

The "feels like" is gone. I am so grown up. It's weird, but it's what I've been waiting for since childhood. To be an adult.

Jewish tradition says 13.
The government says 18.
The bars say 21.
I'll say 22.

And today's 5 o'clock shadow isn't making me feel any younger.

Marcus and Lesley: 2010's Answer to Statler and Waldorf

2010-01-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

Statler: I like the movie fine so far.
Waldorf: It hasn't started yet.
Statler: That's what I like about it.

Like Statler and Waldorf of "The Muppet Show" fame, Lesley and I love nothing more than to go to movies together. We've already decided: She's Waldorf, I'm Statler.

Statler: We'd love to see your act.
Waldorf: But we'd hate to miss your act.
Statler: In fact, we'd love to hate your act!

Don't get me wrong, we love nothing more than loving a movie. In the past month or so, she and I saw "An Education," "A Single Man," "The Princess and The Frog," and "Avatar." Were there more than that? I don't remember. Besides the point. If I'm going to a movie, I want her by my side. Why? She puts up with my shtick. Not only that, she CHALLENGES my shtick.

Waldorf: There have been wars started over less then that
Statler: You're wrong. Nothing's less then that.

Watching a movie with me is like watching a movie with instant commentary. If I've got something to say, I'll say it.

Marcus: The ear placement on the Avatars makes them look like Sloth from "The Goonies"
Lesley: Hey You GUYYYYYYYYYS

And Lesley will say it right back.

Marcus: You'd think that after working on the movies for years, they would have spent at least one of those years working on the script.
Lesley: What script?

Make no mistake, we don't hate everything - we just enjoy hating almost as much as we enjoy loving. "An Education" we loved. We were messes, together throughout the entire movie. We were literally curled up in a ball in our seats- yelling at the main character for dumb things that she was doing. Like Statler and Waldorf, we talk to the characters. Unlike Statler and Waldorf, the characters don't talk back. "Avatar" not so much. But half the experience, was experiencing it with Lesley. Where some people would tell me to shut up, Lesley encourages that I keep going.

Statler: Wake up you old fool. You slept through the show.
Waldorf: Who's a fool? You watched it.

Lesley and I are like minded about a lot of things too, much like Statler and Waldorf. We both sunk in our chairs when the screen faded in "Avatar" and we realized we were only THEN starting act three. We both threw popcorn in exasperation at "A Single Man." We both "awwed" in a certain moment involving Evangeline in "The Princess and the Frog."

Waldorf: That seemed like something very different.
Statler: Did you like it?
Waldorf: No.
Statler: Than it wasn't different.

She's my kindred movie soul. And she's funny as hell. I advise you - do NOT go see a movie with us if you expect silence.

Statler: I guess all's well that ends well.
Waldorf: Doesn't matter to me, as long as it ends.

Also, we're thinking about starting a video blog of movie commentary. More on that later though.

Marcus Kaye and the Blustery Day

2010-01-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

Weather in Los Angeles is a funny thing.

Weather? in Los Angeles? There's no such thing. While you might be right, the threat of weather causes thousands of Angelenos to go running for cover and braking whenever necessary.

They also go shopping.

The second the thermostat makes that fateful plunge from 70 degrees to 69, you can bet your ass that every store in the county will have instantly sold out of gloves, hats, scarves, coats, rations. That's right... 69 degrees is winter weather.

I'm guilty as charged. Even as we speak I'm sitting inside in a scarf and leather jacket.

You see, we're not used to weather changes. We came (or stayed) in California because of its sunshine. When I think of New York, I think of snow, when I think of LA - sunshine and palm trees. So this rain business is not exactly what we come to expect in our day to day lives. Keep in mind, we Angelenos live in a world of make believe. Most of us make movies for a living. We live in fantasy and in that fantasy there is no rain. There is no cold.

But in life, there is. Well, enough cold to make any of us look like we're walking the streets of Boston in December. A Bostonian in LA would put us to shame.

And if you think we're bad when it comes to winter clothes, bundled in our long underwear, gloves, wool socks, scarves, beanies, sweater, coat and overcoat- barely able to move -- Just you wait until you see us in our cars- barely able to drive.

The second a single drop of water hits my bar, the windshield wipers are on in full force. Mind you, it rarely happens so my windshield wipers are pieces of shit - making it virtually impossible to see after all the dirt is smeared across my windshield. I imagine this is the case with most Angelenos.

Swerving and brakes, the staples of me driving in the rain. We're just not used to it. Stop bitching and deal with our driving. It's not going to get better. It's bad in the sunshine, too.

It's raining right now, so I imagine my commute home will have 20 minutes longer. I'm okay with that - since I'll be causing other peoples commutes to be 20 minutes longer as well. It's bad too. Raining pretty hard, on LA standards. Don't get me wrong, rain doesn't get us to stop doing things (look at the Globes- perfect example). So let the rain come- it can mess up our hair, it can mess up our commute, but it can't mess up our busy Angeleno lives.

This just in: Tornado warning in Los Angeles County - now THERE is some weather.

The Buzz of the Weekend

2010-01-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

I never truly appreciated weekends. In grade school, middle school, high school weekends were definitely the only days I had off, but when you're done at 3 every day it hardly feels like you've been busy all week. There's so much time left in the afternoon.

Then in college weekends are irrelevant. Class is 2-3 days a week, drinks are 7. Sure the parties would be held until the weekend, often times but there wasn't a need for that. If someone was to throw a party on a Tuesday night (as we so often did [Cinco de Mayo, Mardi Gras*, etc.]) you'd go.

*

Being a film student, weekends often spelt out work. Class in the week, set on the weekends. 12 hour days Fri-Sun. Hardly a break. Weekends weren't a necessity, they weren't the breath of fresh air that they have so quickly become in what I shall hesitantly call "the real world." I know, I know - the world I experienced for the first 22 years of my life was indeed real as well. But this is what all the old folks call it, and I guess I'm one of them now.

Weekends are a must.

The tingle begins at about 5 on Thursday night. Here I am, sitting in my cubicle and suddenly- I'm giddy. I'm fuckin' ecstatic. I couldn't peg why. I got off work, went out and stumbled back into my apartment at 2am last night.

Yes, I still had work today. Water, tylenol, and a loaf of bread later, I've rid myself of my hangover and an eagerly anticipating the real weekend. Thursday are the pregame to the weekend. They're the night I'm not ready to give up, but will if I have to. If you tell me to give up Friday or Saturday night - I'll laugh at you.

Weekends for the first time, are a must. I won't schedule anything work related, and rarely even something brain related on my weekend. It's my time to sleep in, to do nothing, to drink, to party, to swim (and occasionally to run errands since there is NO time for that in the week). It's my time to see friends and have a social life.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say with this blog, just that I have a new appreciation for the weekend, I guess.

That being said - Its 6:30 on a Friday night. I'm out of here-

A Single Frame

2010-01-12T16:40:00.001-08:00

I promise this won't turn into a blog of JUST movie reviews- but I just saw Single Man and feel the need to encourage anyone who gets a chance to witness Tom Ford's brilliance to do so. Don't do it for the story. Don't do it for the actors. Hell, don't even do it for me- do it for the part of you that loves to flip through magazines at the check stand of the grocery store and look at all the hyper-stylized fashion photographs.

Every single frame of this movie could be paused, printed and put in a fashion magazine. It's beautiful. The costume, the lighting, the placement of every detail. Ford's use of color is exactly how color should be. Colin Firth's life is muted. He's invisible, until he's passionate about something. Characters faces and outfits come alive with bursts of color when Firth comes alive. I want to live in this hyper stylized world that Tom Ford has created.

Okay, maybe I don't.

This movie is heart wrenching. Colin Firth is haunted by the past. Julianne Moore's future is living in it. I don't want to give too much away, but it's tough.

The depiction of the era is perfect. Colin Firth stepped in front of a Psycho poster wearing a skinny tie. I was sold.

And I lied. Totally see it for the story and the actors. Julianne Moore is terrifyingly good. No one does train wreck like her. Colin Firth is phenomenal. Old favorite Matthew Goode, new favorite Nicholas Hoult, and all time favorite Lee Pace (in too little screen time) all help model Tom Ford's latest spread.

Do yourself a favor and see it. Then go home and hug the ones you love.

Or go skinny dipping.