Can't Take My Eyes Off of You: A Blog About Karaoke

Who doesn't love karaoke? Janove and I went to the Little Bar on Monday for Nora's birthday and I sang "Can't Take My Eyes Off You." It's a fun little diddy, and I'd like to think I sang it well (except for that time I came in early from the "instrumental break." I hate those things....)

Anyways, I looked around and found myself surrounded by two types of people. There were the ones that came to have a good time (have a couple drinks, slur a rendition of "I've Got Friends in Low Places") and then there are the regulars. They're the ones who come every week. They're the ones that have an ARSENAL of songs at their disposal. They know the DJ. They're good. Like really good. Like I'm a white guy crooning Beyonce's "Listen" good. But they're not having fun. No, no. They're singing to be DISCOVERED.

NEWS FLASH: Karaoke bars are full of drunk friends and tools like you. The Hollywood myth of being discovered by an off duty record producer who happens to stumble into a Karaoke bar...ISN'T TRUE. Who is the last singer out there that you can think of that comes from this type of a background? Oh right... NO ONE. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET DISCOVERED AT A KARAOKE BAR. So shut your trap, make fun of the drunken idiots and have a good time.

Don't get me wrong, you are still allowed to sing well. Sing well for your friends, sing well for your colleagues, for the strangers at the bar and for that cute guy or girl that you've had your eye on all night.

It's not a good place to be discovered professionally, but karaoke is a PERFECT place to be discovered by your next boyfriend or girlfriend. There you are, spotlit on the stage, singing an off key version of "I Just Can't Wait to Be King." Three minutes and twenty-three seconds of all eyes on you, including his/hers. Come on people, seize this opportunity. Smile, have fun, make eye contact. So much easier than meeting him/her at a regular bar.

Karaoke was MADE for getting all eyes on you. Just not those of a music producers.

Areas I Love: Melrose Avenue

Time for Part II of "Areas I Love"!

You all have heard of the street, most of you probably have even watched the TV show at one point in your life. Recently, I've started to actually spend time on Melrose (in part because friends live close, in part because I need clothes and in part because it's awesome)

The part of Melrose I frequent lies between La Brea and Fairfax, and if you ignore the Ed Hardy- I really like most of the stores and restaurants. Melrose is the go-to street for wardrobe and fashion.

But as you'll see, the food isn't half bad either.

Here's a rundown of places on Melrose I enjoy:

Kazuyo Sushi

Nora and I first stumbled upon this when searching for a Sushi restaurant near us. It's incredible and kind of classy. The sushi is gigantic and delicious. Their popcorn lobster roll is to die for. I'd call it my favorite sushi place in all of L.A.

Urban Outfitters

Don't act surprised that this is on the list. I love myself some Urban. My closet can testify to that. This is the closest one to me, so naturally it enhances my opinion of the area. Not to mention that a few streets down is-

American Apparel

I don't think I need to say any more. I basically can get all of my shopping done on this stretch of Melrose.

American Vintage

In addition to Urban and AA, there is American Vintage which is hands down my favorite second hand store in the area. So many clothes. So many time periods. It's great for costuming, and even greater when I get to find stuff for myself.

This is where I found the giraffe costume that lead to a stellar Halloween. American Vintage is by no means the only vintage store on the block as well, so wander around. You'll find what you need.

Melgard

I just went here today, but can guarantee I'll be back. The beer variety is huge (not that I'm a huge drinker) and the outdoor patio is great. If this hasn't won you over already, happy hour will: Buy a beer (6 bucks) and get a free pizza. Yes. An entire pizza. Not just a slice. Make sure you do it on separate tabs though. It's one pizza per card.

8 0z

Another great place for beer, but even better for burgers. You can build your own burger and anything you could possibly want on it is available. Fried pickles? Not for me...but hey - you might like them. Get the garlic fries. Trust me.

The Girl in Alfred Hitchcock's Shower

I started reading it and, for a while, couldn't put it down. I brought it into work and read it between phone calls. I will admit that I have a slight obsession with Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. It is by far my favorite movie. A complete masterpiece. I read what I can on it and this was a story that I didn't know. You don't know it either, which is reason enough to read this book.

Graysmith cleverly sets up chapters that bounce back and forth between Marli Renfo (Janet Leigh's nude body double) and Sonny (a killer, that we can only presume is Renfo's). He talks about Renfo on the set of Psycho, being sliced with the knife, only to then jump back to Sonny's story and compare him to Anthony Perkins's Norman. It's a smart way to capture an audience that would otherwise ignore this run of the mill true-crime novel.

After a huge set-up, and some fascinating scenes; after Marli's history with Playboy and nudie cuties, and repeating himself way too much, Graysmith finally delivers the twist. And then the book ends. No falling action, nothing. The twist. The end. I felt jilted, after all, it had been set up to be much more. Of course this Hitchcockian story would have a twist - but in all honesty - it would have been so much better as fiction. There were places I wanted this story to go, that it didn't because they just didn't happen. It could have been fascinating, but instead it fizzled out. Once we're off the set of Psycho, I stopped caring - but pushed through to see if the ending I imagined is the ending that occurred. It isn't.

Graysmith is caught between a nonfiction thriller and a biography of Renfo. The boring part of any biography, I think most will agree, is the garbage about where the subject is born and what life was like for their parents. I get it. Its shapes who they are, but this captures 0% of my interest, especially when you've disguised the book as a noir thriller.

He was smart to do one thing though, since he did feel the need to include it, at least he did it in the middle of the book. If he had jumped right out with her birth history I would have put this book down. I don't know who Marli Renfo is, and telling me where she's born does nothing to improve upon that. Smart to start with her naked in the shower. It's what the readers want, anyways.

Should you read it? It's an interesting enough story. Marli is a fascinating person, and despite Graysmith's tendency to repeat himself (a lot) there is some really interesting stuff (especially when it comes to Hitchcock's set).

Is it a story you could get somewhere else though? Better written and with the same good stuff? Probably. Do I regret reading it? No.

Product Placement: The Movie

Two blog posts in one day? Aren't you lucky!

As previously mentioned, I went to see Derrick Borte's directorial debut with THE JONESES tonight. The film dares to ask the question: what if the family down the street that you're trying to keep up with isn't a family at all?

The Joneses; Matriarch, Demi Moore and newly added patriarch, David Duchovny are the heads of a family unit deployed to a small, upscale community to get their neighbors to want what they have. Companies sponsor them, and they in turn, for lack of a better word, pimp the product to their unsuspecting friends and neighbors. A gorgeous Amber Heard and Ben Hollingsworth (of the quickly canceled "The Beautiful Life") round out their family unit. Each member has their own problems, of course, with no real family members to turn to. As their lives unravel, connections form and their lie catches up to them, our ideal family has to determine whether it's worth it or not to live (and sell) the American dream.

The quality of the film isn't the greatest, but David Duchovny and Demi Moore's performances more than make up for that. Truth be told I had forgotten about both of them for some time and am glad to see them back on the scene (if it only be the limited release screen). Moore is the most developed character and brings a wonderful depth to her facade.

Next to Moore and Duchovny, Glenne Headly shines as Summer, a neurotic and broken spirited neighbor who finds herself victim of the American dream. She steals every scene she's in (yes, even the dramatic ones).

It's dark, timely and entertaining, but one can't help but feel that the ending was slapped on to appease the shmuck that goes to the movie for a happy ending. Borte clearly wanted to make a darker film than his studio allowed. The film succeeds, but it's interesting to image what could have happened if Borte would have gotten his way.

Keeping Up Appearances

So much of what we do is looking like we do something. So much of work is looking like you're doing work. So much of success is looking successful. You can never play the game if you don't look the part.

Take, for example, the idea of assistants. How many of us are necessary? And how many of us are here simply to make our bosses look for official/powerful/higher on the food chain? Sometimes quite literally, we find ourselves shopping for our bosses outward appearance. Commenting on their outfits. Making them feel good about how they look (so they in turn, don't rip our heads off).

We're here, not because they can't answer the phone themselves (although, at this point many cannot because they're so used to us) but instead to make it look like they're so busy that they cannot pick up the phone.

What about your room? Is it clean? Why do you clean it? Sure there are sanitary reasons to. Sure it makes it easier to find things. but many of us can live in our messes. We don't, because it hurts our appearance. Invite someone over and you clean. Need to look the part, after all.

Speaking of looking the part, let's think about fashion. An industry dedicated to how we appear. Make-up. Plastic Surgery. Hair Salons. Boutiques. Designer Clothes.

So why do we do it?
Because if you don't appear like you care about yourself. No one else will either.
So clean that room. Buy those jeans. Hire that assistant.

Play the game.



So with that, I'm off to see THE JONESES (a movie, quite literally about keeping up appearances, keeping up with The Joneses.)