Friday, January 22, 2010

Marcus and Lesley: 2010's Answer to Statler and Waldorf



Statler: I like the movie fine so far.
Waldorf: It hasn't started yet.

Statler: That's what I like about it.

Like Statler and Waldorf of "The Muppet Show" fame, Lesley and I love nothing more than to go to movies together. We've already decided: She's Waldorf, I'm Statler.

Statler: We'd love to see your act.
Waldorf: But we'd hate to miss your act.

Statler: In fact, we'd love to hate your act!


Don't get me wrong, we love nothing more than loving a movie. In the past month or so, she and I saw "An Education," "A Single Man," "The Princess and The Frog," and "Avatar." Were there more than that? I don't remember. Besides the point. If I'm going to a movie, I want her by my side. Why? She puts up with my shtick. Not only that, she CHALLENGES my shtick.

Waldorf: There have been wars started over less then that
Statler: You're wrong. Nothing's less then that.



Watching a movie with me is like watching a movie with instant commentary. If I've got something to say, I'll say it.

Marcus: The ear placement on the Avatars makes them look like Sloth from "The Goonies"
Lesley: Hey You GUYYYYYYYYYS

And Lesley will say it right back.

Marcus: You'd think that after working on the movies for years, they would have spent at least one of those years working on the script.
Lesley: What script?

Make no mistake, we don't hate everything - we just enjoy hating almost as much as we enjoy loving. "An Education" we loved. We were messes, together throughout the entire movie. We were literally curled up in a ball in our seats- yelling at the main character for dumb things that she was doing. Like Statler and Waldorf, we talk to the characters. Unlike Statler and Waldorf, the characters don't talk back. "Avatar" not so much. But half the experience, was experiencing it with Lesley. Where some people would tell me to shut up, Lesley encourages that I keep going.



Statler: Wake up you old fool. You slept through the show.

Waldorf: Who's a fool? You watched it.

Lesley and I are like minded about a lot of things too, much like Statler and Waldorf. We both sunk in our chairs when the screen faded in "Avatar" and we realized we were only THEN starting act three. We both threw popcorn in exasperation at "A Single Man." We both "awwed" in a certain moment involving Evangeline in "The Princess and the Frog."

Waldorf: That seemed like something very different.
Statler: Did you like it?

Waldorf: No.

Statler: Than it wasn't different.

She's my kindred movie soul. And she's funny as hell. I advise you - do NOT go see a movie with us if you expect silence.

Statler: I guess all's well that ends well.
Waldorf: Doesn't matter to me, as long as it ends.



Also, we're thinking about starting a video blog of movie commentary. More on that later though.

3 comments:

Lesley said...

However, if someone wants to go to a movie with me and be silent, all they have to do is make sure you're not there. I usually demand silence. But I can't stop the sarcasm from coming when you're there

Anonymous said...

Um, you forgot "The Blindside." And "Up in the Air."

Alex R said...

vlog of video movie commentary?
sounds like a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry brings a camera into a movie theater to record his reactions and gets caught maybe arrested and the judge turns out to be the father/brother/son/etc of someone Larry did something probably inconsiderate but mostly innocent yet misunderstood to in the beginning of the episode.