Marcus Kaye and the Blustery Day

Weather in Los Angeles is a funny thing.

Weather? in Los Angeles? There's no such thing. While you might be right, the threat of weather causes thousands of Angelenos to go running for cover and braking whenever necessary.

They also go shopping.

The second the thermostat makes that fateful plunge from 70 degrees to 69, you can bet your ass that every store in the county will have instantly sold out of gloves, hats, scarves, coats, rations. That's right... 69 degrees is winter weather.

I'm guilty as charged. Even as we speak I'm sitting inside in a scarf and leather jacket.

You see, we're not used to weather changes. We came (or stayed) in California because of its sunshine. When I think of New York, I think of snow, when I think of LA - sunshine and palm trees. So this rain business is not exactly what we come to expect in our day to day lives. Keep in mind, we Angelenos live in a world of make believe. Most of us make movies for a living. We live in fantasy and in that fantasy there is no rain. There is no cold.

But in life, there is. Well, enough cold to make any of us look like we're walking the streets of Boston in December. A Bostonian in LA would put us to shame.

And if you think we're bad when it comes to winter clothes, bundled in our long underwear, gloves, wool socks, scarves, beanies, sweater, coat and overcoat- barely able to move -- Just you wait until you see us in our cars- barely able to drive.

The second a single drop of water hits my bar, the windshield wipers are on in full force. Mind you, it rarely happens so my windshield wipers are pieces of shit - making it virtually impossible to see after all the dirt is smeared across my windshield. I imagine this is the case with most Angelenos.

Swerving and brakes, the staples of me driving in the rain. We're just not used to it. Stop bitching and deal with our driving. It's not going to get better. It's bad in the sunshine, too.

It's raining right now, so I imagine my commute home will have 20 minutes longer. I'm okay with that - since I'll be causing other peoples commutes to be 20 minutes longer as well. It's bad too. Raining pretty hard, on LA standards. Don't get me wrong, rain doesn't get us to stop doing things (look at the Globes- perfect example). So let the rain come- it can mess up our hair, it can mess up our commute, but it can't mess up our busy Angeleno lives.

This just in: Tornado warning in Los Angeles County - now THERE is some weather.